Tortured Moonlight
by Vanessa Tolins
Summary: No…way… I thought, lifting the comforter a bit before letting it drop once more upon seeing a very noticeable tenting in the light blue boxers that completed his ensemble day and night. He’s…dreaming about…me?//YAOI - ALT version to TWISTED MIDNIGHT
1. Tortured Moonlight::Chapter One

**Author's Notes**;;

I decided that, instead of giving you more Tainted Starlight, I wanted to write the first chapter of this today! SO please tell me what you think!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Death Note or any of the characters. I'm just a fan and have no way to get you in contact with anyone, even if I wish I could. :)

**Warning 1**: This fic is rated M for Mature content. If you're below age, you should guide yourself away from this story.

**Warning 2**: This fic may contain spoilers.

**Note 1** have read the Manga, seen the Anime and the movies and will be taking things from each and blending the things I liked best from each. This may wind up slightly A/U, so this is the only warning about that which I will give. Please do not get angry at me for not sticking to the Manga or w/e, this is my story. However, any constructive criticism, questions or just plain comments are always welcome. ^_^

**Note 2**: I really really like reviews. Why? It keeps me on the right track and keeps me motivated to write more. Your thoughts are always appreciated.

**Note 3**: This story is an _alternate_ to my story, Twisted Midnight. It is **not** necessary to read that since this is the _same story_ just written from Light's perspective! This fic takes place while the two are chained. So, in other words, this is set during the time in which Light has forfeited the Death Note and his memories.

****Mature Content Warning****

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Chapter One:

It always took me a few days to settle into a new bed. Just as I'd been getting used to the old one after the first two days of my more personal confinement, we had moved to a more permanent location and now I was awake. I'd been grouchy the past two days and Ryuuzaki didn't like it, then again it was his fault, ruining what little sleep I _had_ managed to get by bringing the laptop to bed and waking me up with the noise. And now, in the new building, I was waking up every house almost on the hour and it was getting extremely annoying. I looked to my left at the sleeping detective, the only time he was actually peaceful, and my breath caught at how…_cute_ he looked.

I shook my head, trying to clear it of such thoughts. _No…you don't go there again,_ I scolded myself. It really was an inappropriate thought process to be thinking of the _man_ who held me captive as cute. I'd never felt attracted to anyone, not any of the girl's I'd dated or any of my friends, male or female, at school. Why now? Why this eccentric detective who seemed to think it was his sole purpose in life to make me feel smaller than an ant? To make the world think I was Kira when I wasn't? To make my life a living Hell by just being himself?

I remembered the first time I'd seen him, sitting in the classroom with his feet on the desk while taking the entrance examination for the University; and the instructor had scolded him…but he hadn't shifted his position. Those charcoal eyes had just met mine and all I had thought was, _Who is this guy?_ I'd looked at him a few more times and, I could have sworn, he could _feel_ me looking at me and met my gaze without fail. And I couldn't deny I was attracted to how _wild_ he was. I was Light Yagami, perfectly tame outwardly, a genius and popular…I had it made, but I lacked the one thing that would truly make me, well, me. I lacked the guts to be different, and _he_ had that aplenty.

He'd been at the commencement ceremony and we'd both given the speech. That meant he'd gotten a perfect score…just like me. He was cute, not in a conventional way, but he was. He had a way of sitting that was almost child-like but there was no mistaking that long, lean body beneath the simple façade. The way he had his thumb to his mouth while thinking, his toes constantly shifting and moving and the way he curled into the fetal position whenever possible… It was practically endearing and I found it more difficult a task to read the speech than to look at the mess of a human being next to me. He was utterly fascinating to me, like a species of bug I had never seen before and wanted very much to examine more closely.

And then the anger of when he'd told me his identity. I didn't really remember the reason for all my anger, but now that I had time to sit and think about it I rationalized that it must have been because, ever since I had been a young boy, I had looked up to L. I hadn't even been sure it _was_ L, he was playing with me, and then the man had the audacity to accuse _me_ of being Kira! As if! I was the son of the Chief of Police, I _was not_ Kira.

"L-Light-kun," I heard and rolled my eyes. _Wonderful,_ I thought, _the princess is awake._ Princess, indeed, he always got what he wanted when he wanted and no one ever seemed to fight or argue with him about any of it. I looked over at him, prepared to be exasperated, and then I realized he _wasn't_ awake. Unless he was faking still being asleep, curled and facing me just as he had been a moment before, pale hands tucked almost out of sight beneath his head and the arms of his white shirt.

I watched as he shifted onto his back, face slightly flushed, and I wondered what he was dreaming about so deep in a REM cycle that I doubted even he was aware of the dream. I looked at the time; it was only two forty-five, not nearly time for the princess to wake up yet. I'd never been awake to witness Ryuuzaki dreaming, and never thought I would be considering the princess rarely slept. "L-Light…"

I stared, the lack of honorific drawing me in as one of his thumbs found its way to his mouth and then the chain moved as his other hand snaked under the comforter. _No…way…_ I thought, lifting the comforter a bit before letting it drop once more upon seeing a _very_ noticeable tenting in the light blue boxers that completed his ensemble day and night. _He's…dreaming about…me?_ I found the thought exciting as his breath shortened, "L-Light…please…" _He's dreaming about me on top…_ I felt my cock stiffen a bit at the imagery that thought provided and I groaned. I'd had similar dreams about the detective, not that I would ever admit that, and I turned to look at him once more as my hand wandered to my own crotch. "Aaahhh," he panted and damn it all, I was hard as a rock. "Y-yes…"

I took myself in my hand and debated touching him, instead, but no…that would be admitting I liked him. It would also more than likely wake him up. I very much liked him being asleep. _Just because…he's dreaming of me…doesn't mean…he likes me_ I told myself even as my mind flashed me picture after picture of myself ramming into him, him screaming underneath me and me dominating him completely. _It could just be that we're stuck together and therefore he's subconsciously dreaming of me because I'm close to him. Humans often dream…of people they don't necessarily _like_ like._ Again, I was trying to convince myself because I knew that was the most logical reason. He writhed on the bed, shaking it slightly and I quickened the pace of my hand and fell onto my side, facing away from him just in case he woke up. "LIGHT!" he screamed and I came into my boxers, knowing I was going to be annoyed in the morning with that fact but he seemed to have woken up from his dream. I pretended to be sleeping, not wanting him to know I'd overheard _or_ that I had gotten off thinking about it. Nothing good could ever come of it, anyway. "Damnit," I heard him whisper. "Guess I can't dream about something I've never…"

Oh, god, he was talking to himself about his dream…what had he never done? What hadn't he experienced? What could I do to change that for him? No…what was I thinking? I decided to try my luck, pretending his mutterings had woken me. "Oy…what are you going on about, Ryuuzaki-kun?" I flipped over to face him, still wrapped tightly in the blankets so he wouldn't see my mess, and I noticed he was sitting in the fetal position but a bit awkwardly. His charcoal eyes met my brown ones and widened a bit, then he shrugged and put his legs down. He was still hard… "So…just go into the bathroom and-"

"That is not something I do, Light-kun," he said carefully and I blinked, stumped and at a loss for words. "It is pointless." I turned back over, slightly miffed considering it was exactly what _I_ had just done, and decided I wanted to go to sleep. "Light-kun…why did you ask what was bothering me?"

"Because your mutterings woke me up," I lied easily, definitely not about to tell him what I'd really been thinking. "I'd like to go back to sleep."

"I see," he said simply and I felt the weight on the bed shift again as he laid down on it. "So, Light-kun was merely concerned about his sleep…and not about his supposed friend. Your percentage of being Kira is now six percent." I growled but ignored him, refusing to rise to his bait. He tended to raise and lower that apparently at his whim just to annoy me.

"If you say so, Ryuuzaki-kun," I merely replied before getting more comfortable and trying to ignore the mess in my boxers. "But as I've already said, I'm _not_ Kira."

The next night I actually got to sleep through _most_ of it without him annoying me…or dreaming about me, and I was slightly relieved by both, but the night after I woke up around three fifty in the morning and I groaned, pressing my face into the pillow. "Are you alright?" His voice was the _last_ thing I wanted to hear alert when all I wanted to do was go back to sleep. No, I realized, that wasn't _all_ I wanted to do. My bladder was what had woken me and it was making its pressure known.

"Ryuuzaki-kun," I said dully, refusing to remove my face from the pillow and therefore, childishly, refusing to let myself actually be awake. "It's almost four in the morning and I'm awake, but otherwise I'm fine." I was obviously trying to imply that me being awake at almost four in the morning was _not_ a thing that was 'fine' with me. I pushed the pillow aside and glared at him sleepily and decided I might as well go and piss as I swung my legs over the side of the bed. My joints felt stiff from sleep and I stretched, and then started walking around the bed towards the bathroom. I felt myself jerk to a halt by my left wrist and I turned to him, "Oh come on! It is way too early in the morning for this!" I wanted to scream at him as he settled himself more comfortably on the bed and smiled at me. Damn. That. Irritable. Bastard. I had _no_ idea what on Earth made me think he was _cute_, he certainly wasn't cute at that moment. "R-Ryuuzaki-kun." I tugged on the chain forcibly, trying to get him to move and failing as apparently pain wouldn't even budge him, and I vented my frustration by kicking the base of the footboard of the bed. Pain woke me up far more effectively than caffeine ever could have as I stubbed my toe against the oak frame and cursed, wincing and favoring the foot.

I felt the chain move once more and he got up slowly and lifted it so that it went over the bed posts and I hated that I thought he looked _graceful_ as he landed deftly, almost cat-like, on the floor. No…he was _not_ graceful, he was pesky and annoying, and he headed for the bathroom as if he were planning to the the whole time and I could only follow. After all, the princess commands…and everyone obeys. And Light Yagami was outwardly no different than anybody else.

I went in and relieved myself, looking at my toe which was bruised but otherwise fine, and I glared at him through the door despite him not being able to see it. When I came back out he…was _fully clothed_. That. Bastard. "No," I said, understanding and trying not to. "No!" I repeated, protesting and knowing I wasn't going to win. "Why are you all dressed?" I asked, already knowing his answer.

"Why do you think, Light-kun?" He looked at me with those unblinking orbs of grayish-black and he was _cute_. "It's morning! Therefore," he let one finger rise into the air, pointing up, and I wanted nothing more than to take that finger and lick…no, not _that_. I wanted to take that finger and tell him where to shove it…yes, that was it. Then he decided to continue his speech and I focused on his lips, "Therefore it's time for work! Kira won't catch himself, after all."

That. Bastard. I kept telling myself that as I picked out clothing, being deliberately slow so I could annoy him at least a fraction of how he'd been annoying me, and I debated playing my trump and telling him I knew what he dreamt about. But I didn't want to open that can of worms, I had a feeling it would bite me in the ass somehow. I let that be, an ace up my sleeve in case I ever needed it, and I hoped I never would. He took off my cuff long enough to let me change my shirt and then he hauled me towards the computers. My eyes drooped, I needed more sleep, but I knew he'd never let me. Finally I settled on hitting a weakness of _his_. His craving for all things sweet or caffeinated, and I told him I wanted coffee. At least it would help me stay awake. I told him a shower would be nice, too, but he put that off as 'second,' which I'd known he would, and claimed he wanted breakfast. I scoffed; breakfast to him was anyone else's form of dessert.

I watched him eat. I didn't _not_ like all things sweet, like he seemed to think, he just always tended to offer me sweets at the most inappropriate times…like breakfast time as I sipped my black coffee and waited for it to kick in. We were back in our room at the computers and I was pretending to be very into my research when I was actually looking up facts about homo-sexual relations and anal sex so I could see just what he had been dreaming about. "They'll be here in forty-five minutes," I jumped, closing the text-based browser and clearing the search history. I stretched once more, purposefully flashing the skin of my stomach and hoping to get a reaction out of him, but he merely began walking, face passive and unreadable as always.

There was a lot of information on the internet for any who wanted to look, and I wondered if I was gay. I didn't like my girlfriend, I wasn't even sure why I was with her, and I didn't really like any of the girls I'd dated. I looked over at him as we made our way toward our shared bathroom and had to wonder at the real reason why I thought he was cute. He had a lollipop in his mouth and I found myself wondering at the things he could do with said mouth. After all, he _did_ have quite the oral fixation. Oh, god…I _was_ gay if I was thinking about him giving me oral sex. I'd had blow-jobs before, but the physical stimuli was all there had ever been. Not thoughts of the person with me. In fact, I wasn't one to indulge in self-touching either, unless it was the thoughtless 'take care of morning wood' type of self-touching that usually occurred. The other night had been the first time I'd ever had such vivid imagery of being with someone…and it had been with Ryuuzaki, of all people. Why? Why the _Hell_ did I have to be attracted to him? Usually I was content with being unemotional. Well, maybe not content, but it was something I had gotten used to. I didn't know what it meant…and I wasn't completely sure I wanted to find out. No…the best thing to do was avoid the subject and hope he didn't have any more dreams about me.

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**Author's Note (again)**:

Alright, this story will probably wind up much _shorter_ than Twisted Midnight because, technically, you've already read it…this is just a fresh take on it.

If you're bored so far let me know so I can stop wasting both our time. I'm not sure how this will be received since it's pretty much a 're-write.'


	2. Tortured Moonlight::Chapter Two

**Author's Notes**;;

**Melodic Masterpiece**;; Thanks!! I'm glad you're enjoying it!  
**UnratedCrimsonBlood**;; This is the EXACT same story as Twisted Midnight, but it's told from Light's perspective.  
**Yuka-Chan16**;; XDD YAY! THANKS!!  
**And to Think I'm Really Human**;; Me too. I'm actually enjoying writing it. O.O  
**Death Note Demon From Hell**;; Thanks! Yea, it's just changing the voice of the story but not the actual story!  
**Freakitten**;; I just hope I'm sticking enough to the character. –sweatdrop-  
**crazytopsparckles**;; -shivers- or else what? O.O  
**glostarz**;; YAY! It is…I'm surprised at the fact that I'm enjoying writing it lol.  
**Divanora**;; Thanks for the other reviews!! I'm really glad you're enjoying reading my stories and I really appreciated the reviews you left for the others as well!

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Chapter Two:

My more than friendly feelings toward my captor and friend subsided at the admission that he had merely been bored and that was why he hadn't let me go back to sleep. Eye twitching and a vein threatening to throb at the side of my head I muttered "Bastard" under my breath and followed him to the shower. We fussed with the chain enough to get undressed for the shower, each of us looking away long enough to get into the shower and I realized with a jolt I'd run out of soap. _Damn_, I thought as I vaguely recalled the less than substantial amount I'd had the previous shower. _Not much else for it_. "Uh…Ryuuzaki-kun?" I asked tentatively and merely got a grunt in reply. I took it as a sign to keep talking, "I'm out of soap," I admitted albeit reluctantly. "Let me use yours."

There was a moment where I wasn't sure he would give it to me much less had even heard me, and I risked a glance in his direction and noticed his hand jutting out awkwardly behind him in a quick, sharp motion. I took the soap, turning to face him and knew he wouldn't turn around. At least, I _hoped_ he wouldn't. He usually didn't, then again, neither did I. We showered back to back for a semblance of privacy and I didn't even want to go down the path of thought where he caught me watching him. I was fairly certain he'd be angry or, at the very least, raise my percentage of being Kira. When I finally cleaned myself off I said, "Thanks," and pressed the soap once more into the hand that jutted out behind him again.

I washed my hair quickly and when I heard the tell-tale squeak of his showerhead being turned off I followed suit before reaching out to grab the towel he offered me, slightly taken aback at the gesture and not sure what to make of it. Paranoia was a double-edged sword, and I was fairly certain he hadn't meant anything by it. We dressed and headed to work as normal, and a week passed without further incident and I managed to cast my attraction to Ryuuzaki aside as hormonal. After all, it wasn't like I had any real outlet for my sexual frustrations (I couldn't really do anything with Misa if he was nearby, nor did I feel the inclination to) and he _was_ the only one near me twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Right, lying to myself had always been something I'd been rather good at and this proved to be the rule rather than the exception.

He and I were walking back towards the main office after an excruciating date with Misa when his voice echoed in the empty hallway. "Light-kun," oh that so annoying voice that was a close second to Misa. At least Ryuuzaki could hold a decent conversation. "May I ask you a question?"

I gritted my teeth and resisted the urge to roll my eyes at his words. Those words, _that question_, was usually the bane of my existence and usually meant he had something to ask in regard to the Kira case…or he were about to ask something extremely personal with those words as his only warning be it conscious or subconscious. "Of course," I smirked as I placed a pleasant mask over my features. Mustn't let the eccentric detective know I had learned one of his quirks, "Although you do realize you just asked me one?" My smile broadened at the word game and he let the door close the few inches it had opened as he turned to face me completely and the smirk slipped from my face as I realized this was probably going to be a personal question with a hint of the Kira motive and his dark eyes met my own lighter ones. "Uh…what is it, Ryuuzaki-kun?" And for some reason I couldn't put my finger on, I was nervous?

He seemed to take a moment to collect his thoughts, or best to determine how to phrase his question and I wondered if he thought I was serious in my light joke that he were only allowed one question. Obviously he could ask as many as he liked and I would be powerless to stop him, and I would of course answer because I wanted to prove to him that of which I was certain: I wasn't Kira. "What do you see in Misa-chan? Why are you dating her?" I blinked, taking in his words and felt my world beginning to slow painfully. These were questions I often asked myself and then he was speaking again and it was all I could to do to think to keep up. "She's hardly in your league, Takada-san was a much better choice; you and Misa-chan barely talk about much of anything important." I blinked again and tried to formulate answers and he repeated a question, kind of. "Why are you with her?"

I was more or less floored as my brain seemed to go into overdrive trying to come up with something, anything, that would placate the world's best detective and was coming up with insufficient blanks. There was nothing in the banks of my memories that even compared remotely to this moment in which I felt utterly powerless and at a loss. No, this couldn't be, I _would_ think of something. But he was speaking again and I knew the other shoe was about to drop. "I mean, go with me on this a moment. If you had been Kira and she had been the Second Kira but neither of you could remember that, would that be sufficient reasons enough to date her?" I felt my eye twitch again at the accusation, of _course_ he would bring this back to Kira as that was apparently the only thing the stoic man lived for. "Although now that you and she can no longer remember," he was speaking again and I dreaded his next words as I knew he would expect an answer from his hypothetical situation. "Why stay together? Why remember at all that you _were_ together? Why the obvious façade and pretense of liking her when you don't? I thought you said you wouldn't manipulate her."

I blinked, slightly confused and I looked away from those knowing eyes that had seen through the mask I wore in front of Misa…the mask I wore in front of the world. That seemed to be a specialty of Ryuuzaki's – seeing through my masks and exposing the raw flesh underneath. "Well, I – there are endearing qualities about her." He smiled and I frowned in annoyance as I dug through my mind for a response that would be suitable to the detective. "She's, well, she's cute and I did like her at first. She has more intelligence than you give her credit for, Ryuuzaki-kun." These were facts, she _was_ cute and, well, I vaguely remembered feeling some kind of fondness toward her although I was fairly certain that was because she seemed to idolize me. Also, I remembered feeling threatened if I wouldn't go out with her. Silly though, feeling threatened, but the threat had been real enough and she wasn't such a bad alternative to single life. The bit about her being intelligent, well, if she'd managed to wrangle me into a relationship I hadn't wanted then she must have been intelligent enough for it. But I would never admit that kind of embarrassing reality, least of all to Ryuuzaki, and admit that I had in fact been defeated. Really, things might have been a lot worse. I continued my defense and hope this would suffice. "Besides, she's obviously infatuated with me. I can't just dump her, even if I no longer feel how I used to feel about her."

His eyes narrowed suspiciously and I sighed. That, at least, had definitely been true. The girl was enamored of me, with me, to the point where a break-up might be detrimental to her health to the point where she might consider suicide. Even I knew she needed a new infatuation, a new addiction to cling to, but until she found it I felt rather stuck with her. And then I narrowed my own eyes in suspicion as another thought occurred to me. "And why are you so suddenly interested in my motives for being with her, anyway?" It was rather strange, all of this out of the blue, and I finally added a point I'd been hoping to add since the beginning. "And your theory is flawed, Ryuuzaki-kun." He lifted an eyebrow, clearly amused, and I went on. "I'm not Kira."

"Relax, Light-kun," he said nonchalantly and I resisted the urge to strangle him. What would I do with myself if I strangled the one person who seemed able to make me feel? _No!_ I pushed that thought aside and recalled that I was Light Yagami, I did _not_ put myself into impossible situations. Besides, I wasn't gay so it didn't matter, anyway. "If you are or aren't Kira the truth will eventually reveal itself. Now, as for Misa-chan and yourself, I have always wondered." I kept my mask on and felt rather proud of myself for resisting the urge to groan audibly. "I always thought Takada-san was more your type, Light-kun." Ryuuzaki gave a half-hearted shrug and I wondered if he was finally coming to his point. "Misa-chan is just a bit more air-headed than the other girls you dated at the time. She rather stuck out, so to speak."

_You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me._ I thought vehemently towards the lanky bastard facing me. Now he was merely questioning my type in partners? I wanted to deck him one, give him a shiner he would wear for at least a week, I wanted to mark him in at least some way and let everyone know he was mine. Wait, no! Where had that thought come from? It was perhaps the only thing, that thought, that kept me from hitting him and I finally said through gritted teeth, "What makes you think you know what my type it, anyway?" I watched for any reaction from the only person who ever had a chance at being my type before I added, "I would think I know myself a little bit better than you would!"

He shrugged again, a gesture I was truly beginning to hate since it seemed to have no real meaning before he finally answered my question and I felt like my heart was in my chest. Had I given myself away? Had he been awake that night and merely setting me up for this? Was he going to embarrass me horribly? "Well, you and I are similar Light-kun." Not what I had been expecting, but this was L…he could have any trick up his sleeve. "Perhaps I had been mistaken," I longed to tell him what he already knew, that he hadn't been mistaken, "And she truly is your type. Or perhaps you thought she was your type when you met her, as you hinted at earlier, and now you've gotten to know her you've realized she isn't who you thought she was." I wanted to tell him that was exactly it but my brain seemed to have frozen. I couldn't bring myself to say even one word in acknowledgement due to the fear of what he could say in return. "Judging from the types of girls you dated aside from Misa-chan I have deduced she is not your type and I know you are unhappy with her." _Well_, I mused, _It really didn't take a genius to figure that out, I suppose._ "Aside from that," he was still talking apparently, "I, for one, would not be your type." I froze; this was a clear rebuttal as far as I could see it. He _had_ been awake that night and this was telling me that he didn't see me as I saw him! No, impossible…he'd definitely been asleep, right? Either way, he seemed to have caught on to my inner turmoil in regard to my feelings and was telling me, in no uncertain terms, he didn't feel the same way.

I felt my cheeks burning with the knowledge. I had _never_ been rejected before, and this was…I realized with a jolt it was_ painful_. I opened my mouth to say something, anything, in hopes to alleviate the awkwardness that I was feeling and that he must surely be feeling as well, but nothing came out. I watched silently as he opened the door and took a step into the main office and I lost that thin leash of control I had. _You bastard!_ I thought as I realized he'd been toying with me and my fist connected with his back, causing the door to close on us both before his foot snapped my head back as it connected with my jaw and then we were having another one of our numerous fights. It felt good to physically get out the aggression I was feeling, but I lost. He was surprisingly quick, spry and deft considering his low weight, but his body was all muscle, a fact I didn't want to think overly long on as he pinned me to the floor. And then he whispered, his breath tickling my ear and I froze at his words. "According to that reaction, I was incorrect. Very interesting, Light-kun."

My eyes widened as I realized that I had mis-interpreted his earlier curiosity as more than just that. I had inadvertently admitted my feelings for him in the worst possible way, and I had done so blindly because I'd thought he already knew. Slowly we got up and returned to our seats and I heard the voice come from the computer, the voice I knew belonged to someone named Watari, "That was unprofessional, Ryuuzaki." I keyed my own computer to life and resisted the urge to look at him. Honestly, how could I have been so stupid and let my emotions get the better of me? The worst part was, in the middle of the main office, I couldn't really do or say anything to make him think otherwise.

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**Author's Note (again)**:

Welllll here we are again. What did you think?


	3. Tortured Moonlight::Chapter Three

**Author's Notes**;;

**Freakitten**;; My spologies for the wait, real life kicked me in the butt recently. ^-^ Here's another!  
**Divanora**;; Sadly, I don't think I want to do TS from Light's POV. If enough people asked I might _eventually_, but as of now I don't plan on it.  
**Death Note Demon From Hell**;; I wonder if people are opening up Twisted Midnight to go and correlate what they are reading with the other story? That would be cool to know.

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Chapter Three:

I would have to look at everything he did for any possible motive. I thought back, my face flushing as I recalled the dream he'd had about me, and I wondered if his inquiry into my love life had been inspired by _jealousy_ of Misa? _Was_ Ryuuzaki really interested in me in a way that was, well, more intimate than how he presented himself? Did he possibly return my feelings if even a little bit? Ack! How could he return feelings when I wasn't even sure of _my_ feelings?

I blinked when I realized Matsuda was handing Mogi money and my father was asking the object of my…affection? what was going on. _Good question_, I thought but Ryuuzaki was answering. "Yagami-san, no worries." _No worries? Since when does Ryuuzaki ever use _that_ phrase?_ That…well, let's just say the past five days have been trying. It's not easy having to live with someone you barely know," that, a least was true in all words. We barely knew each other and it _was_ hard to live with someone. "And Light-kun picked a fight over, well, we'll leave it at that." _Leave it at what?_ I gaped a moment at the fact that his excuse had not been seamless for once but the others ambled off to their own stations clearly just as confused as when they'd approached us. Was Ryuuzaki really struggling with this just as much?

I dimly recalled I was supposed to be angry with him and set my face to a suitable expression before attempting to work. Occasionally I snuck glances towards the unkempt, older man and almost got caught lingering with my gaze more than once. And that sweetened mouth consuming more and more, the lollipop going in and out, in and out. It was enough to drive me and my libido insane. Finally the day was at an end and I'd pretty much spent it playing solitaire whilst working on the case in order to divert my attention from the cumbersome detective who was ever-present to my left. It wasn't until we reached our joint room once more that he spoke. "I saved a little girl today." I stopped in my tracks toward the computer desk wondering what kind of reaction he was expecting or what kind of reaction would raise my percentage of being Kira in his mind and what kind of reaction would make me more endearing to him and then I felt aggravated at the fact that I would likely go insane and all because of the insomniac behind me! "She had been kidnapped, and the police in America were at a loss. A Senator's daughter."

My mind, I decided, had effectively shut down as I didn't _want_ to _interpret_ his words anymore. I just wanted to go to sleep, to rest, and to have this whole ordeal over with. "That…that's amazing, you were able to solve the case from here?" I asked and turned to face him at last. He was smiling softly and I vaguely recalled him telling me there was an organization that was L, it wasn't just him, and I wondered if he'd utilized any of his other contacts. I decided it couldn't hurt to try and make small talk since he seemed to be in the mood, "Do you have people working for you there?" It was an innocent enough question and I didn't actually care if he answered it or not. It would be nice to know a bit more information, but I didn't really need to, I supposed. As much as it stung, it wasn't _necessary_.

He shook his head and said, "The police there are very helpful. And they follow instructions well enough as well as send me any data I require." I sneered a bit at the slight insult to our own Japanese police force whether intended or not, an insult to my _father_, but he continued to speak. "It was simple enough to figure out once I had the where and when, along with a list of people close to the family. There is a saying, 'Keep your friends close,'" I watched as he sat on the edge of the bed, tugging suddenly on the chain and I stumbled towards him a bit awkwardly. "'And your enemies closer.'" He tilted his head in a cute way and pulled out a green jolly rancher and unwrapped it as if it could be a bomb before putting it in his mouth. That mouth that I wanted on places of my body I really shouldn't be thinking about.

I took a deep breath and decided, once again, to push my luck. "Are we enemies, Ryuuzaki-kun?" I lifted my left hand as if to demonstrate that he was still holding me prisoner more or less against my will, the less was something I would have to delve into later when I _wanted_ to examine my psyche, and I kept my eyes locked on his feeling as though time were standing still while our eyes met. I knew that couldn't be true, but it was a nice feeling nonetheless. I had all the time in the world to convince him of my innocence. "Or…are we friends?" I finally finished the question, feeling a burning in my chest that had nothing to do with time…only nerves and anticipation.

His own right hand rose and mimicked my earlier motion and he said, "Your closest friends often wind up being your strongest of enemies, Light-kun." I bit my lower lip and recalled the story of Julius Ceasar, but I shoved that aside considering those circumstance were very different than here. Although most homicides were often perpetrated by those close to the victims, it wasn't always the case. He stood up which shortened the distance between us considerably and he towered over me slightly as I realized that he wasn't slouching. He shortened the distance again so that the smallest of movements would have caused our chests to brush together…or our lips to lightly brush. "But I suppose we are acquaintances." I sighed and wanted to move away from him, but that would be giving him a victory. "I think that we could have been friends if…" he trailed off and I wanted nothing more for him to continue that sentence although I was fairly certain already how it would end. I wanted desperately for his trust, "If circumstances were different." _In other words_, I thought, _If you didn't believe me to be Kira_.

I nodded and tried to be convincing in my response, "Then we will be friends, because despite your constant accusations, I am _not_ Kira!" I wasn't sure who I was trying to convince more, him or myself, but I was pretty certain I wasn't Kira so it must have been him. He sighed deeply and I was suddenly reminded of our earlier fight, the verbal one more so than the physical, and I realized I needed an answer as to how he felt. People worked a certain way, I had discovered, in order to gain information you had to offer up a bit of the self, first. Well, _normal_ people worked that way, anyway. Ryuuzaki couldn't be called normal by any means, but I was going to try and take him by surprise and give him an actual truth. "Ryuuzaki-kun, what – what you said before about my _type_; what were you getting at? Was there a point to that?" I was planning on giving him some information, but if he answered in an unappreciative way then he would gain nothing from me.

It became a battle of wills of who would speak next, whether he was aware of it or not. There was an almost imperceptible shift in his eyes and I could feel this victory was mine. Yes, he shifted uncomfortably and I doubted even he was aware of the movement and I realized that he _did_ like me, even if it was only on a subconscious level. I could almost see his need to get away from both myself and the question, but he was pinned by his own game between me and the bed, and if he moved he admitted defeat, but if he spoke, he also admitted a kind of defeat. Weighing his option he finally decided speaking was the lesser of two evils as I showed him that I was angry he wanted to escape, I showed him that I was reading him like an open book. "I was curious. That is all, Light-kun."

And then the game changed once more and his obvious disregard in his voice almost threw me, but his eyes didn't leave mine and I waited for him to elaborate as I explained with my own facial expression his explanation hadn't been nearly satisfactory. But he was saved by the bell, or the phone, as it were and he answered it quickly enough. "Yes?" He pushed past me to the computer, apparently I was forgotten due to his newest distraction most likely afforded by Watari, and as he got to the desktop he said, "Who was the request sent to? And why me? Have the Italian police done any investigating of their own yet?" I blinked, confused at his word choice, but filed it away for later perusal as he checked some file on the computer. He listened for a bit then said, "Very well. Inform them I will help them and ask them to transmit all the case files." He blinked and I watched surprise take over his eyes for the briefest of moments before the stoicism was back in place. He read some new window on the monitor, "Give me satellite coverage of the area." Images appeared on the monitor and he said, "Thank you, Watari. I will call you later." He shut the phone, conversation apparently over and a new case for him to solve, a new puzzle perhaps to avoid the one that was closer to his heart. Wishful thinking on my part, I was sure, but it was nice to think about.

His voice jolted me out of those thoughts, however, and it was surprisingly directed towards me. "Come over here, you might be able to help me. A murder case that _doesn't_ involve Kira." And we dove into the case, rifling through all the possible suspects and the victims. The first had been stabbed in the heart with some sort of wooden instrument, splinters had been found inside the victim's flesh. The second had been burned and the only thing connecting the small, silver crucifixes lain face up on each of their tongues. As we tried to figure out what had taken off the head of the third victim I noticed how choppy the job had been and it hit me. "Exacto knife," had barely escaped my lips before the imagery hit me and I tugged him toward the bathroom. The burning in my throat and mouth caused my eyes to water. It had been a few days since we'd taken on the case and this revelation was disturbing, to say the least. I could feel a hand on my back, massaging it gently as another hand kept the hair off my forehead and when I was done heaving into the bowl of the toilet I turned, not really thinking and just seeking comfort, and my arms wrapped around the white-clad waist and my head fell against that thin chest.

I could feel myself shaking and hated the weakness, but I couldn't move away from those gentle hands caressing my hair, my back, my shoulders and my arms. I didn't have the resolve to move away when all I wanted was to stay that way and be selfish, just keep him like this and all to myself – to keep him gentle and in my arms. Eventually I stopped shaking and I did pull away, feeling my cheeks burning slightly and I felt as though electricity ran through my cheek as his fingers brushed against it and I looked up, surprised, and met his eyes. "Let's go tell the police what we know, Light-kun." I nodded, it was the right thing to do…the police might be able to use the information to catch the bad guy.

Afterwards, revulsion bit at my center, the very core of my being, not only at what I had seen but the act I had committed afterwards. Regurgitation was not a pretty sight to behold, nor was it pleasant to experience firsthand, and then I had whimpered like some child and of all things clung to Ryuuzaki, of all people! When he offered me a hand up there was really no point in rebuking the clear gesture it was meant to be. I preferred the gentle human being to the world's best detective any day, it made the world feel less soiled. This world was truly rotten and things like this murder left me wondering if it had ever had any good qualities about it. And so the rotten taste still left in my mouth was slightly diminished since it had been about twenty minutes, but I left it there to serve as a reminder that the world's own slippery, sloping sinking into succulence, scandal and sheer sickening villainy was not something that would go away on its own. Maybe Kira had the right idea, and maybe the homicidal psycho-path would kill this son of a bitch as well, but it was my job to catch him and I had no intention of letting anyone get away with murder; no matter how righteous their intentions.

Bravery was something I was willing to try because it was easier then the other option, at least bravery in the _see how far my feelings for him run and vice versa_ category. In the _face down the big bad crime scene_ category I was fairly certain I was failing dismally, spectacularly, but that didn't matter because the more personal matter maybe being resolved was more important to me as I kept my hand in his and _he let me_. I let him think whatever he wanted in regards to my move on him, but I was happy momentarily with the warmth of our joined limbs. I felt that warmth leave, or rather, lessen and I looked down to see he was trying to hold my hand with just his forefinger and thumb which was his usual fashion and I bordered on being extremely annoyed then settled for amusement as I realized he really _didn't_ know what he was doing. His nose had wrinkled in the cutest way as he obviously didn't like the new grip and I laughed. It was almost four in the morning and I was holding hands with the greatest detective in the world who also happened to be hand-cuffed to me and experimenting with the very basic form of contact. For the moment I didn't care if he got mad I was laughing, because I wasn't laughing at him necessarily, just at the humorous situation and I watched as his lips curled into a very small smiled and I slid my hand more solidly back into his and felt him tug on it and the cuffs connecting the chain to us clinked together cheerfully as he pulled me towards him. "You and your eccentricities, Ryuuzaki."

His face flushed slightly and I saw fear in his eyes. I wanted to get rid of it; that fear, but his smile was completely gone and I could practically see the pulse jumping in his throat much faster than it should have been. His lips moved and what came out of them angered me, but I needed to make him comfortable again. "This would be…where Kira would lull me into a false sense of security." He smirked once more, but I wasn't smiling anymore and I didn't think he was enjoying the moment any more than I was.

I reached up with my free hand and pushed some of those black locks behind his ear so I could see his eyes, something I had wanted to do for a while, and I asked, "Is it now?" I allowed that smile to come back, that million dollar smile girls tried in vain to get me to flash in their direction, the one I wasn't even really conscious of doing and I continued speaking. "But, Ryuuzaki," I tried to keep my voice low and even, "I'm not Kira. So any sense of security you may feel would, I assure you, be genuine." He was looking at me as though trying to x-ray into my soul and I said, "Ryu – no, L… I'm not Kira." _Please believe me_, I added silently.

The look he gave me was so serious I thought someone else might have died and he could pinpoint all the blame on me somehow even thought I knew that would be physically impossible. "I hope not, Light-kun." He pulled away from me and it tore at my heart and I realized what I was feeling was what must be, well, _normal_. I had never been affected like this by anyone I had ever met aside from the man picking calling the Naples police force. He hung up and nodded towards the bed and I sighed, deciding to tell him that truth from our earlier, interrupted conversation.

"Wait just a moment, Ryuuzaki-kun." He waited, staring at me with that blank look that meant absolutely nothing to me and I bravely plunged onward. "A few days ago…when you said Misa-chan wasn't my type. You were right." I smiled sadly and was glad he wasn't interrupting me with his usual antics and letting me finish what I started considering it was an obvious struggle for me to find the courage and the right words. "The problem isn't that Misa-chan isn't my type, Ryuuzaki-kun. The problem is that I'm not sure I have a type." There, the truth in my own opinion, a truth that hadn't bothered until I'd met _him_. "It's more that I don't feel like I connect with anyone," _except you,_ I added silently. "Therefore perhaps I'm doomed to this feeling of being disconnected for my whole life. At least Misa-chan is real, she's there, and when she's paying attention to me I know someone is. She cares a lot about me, and I really hope one day I can feel that way about someone."

I stopped and thought of the best case scenario even though it hurt a bit, "With luck, it would be Misa-chan, if only to avoid the hear-break that would follow. But I know, deep down, she's not _the one_. I don't think I'll ever find _the one_. And so you asked why I was with her," I smiled wryly and had to avert my eyes and thought how best to phrase it as my hands landed against my pants in an unsure gesture. "And I can only quote a song in answer. '_Sometimes when I'm alone I wonder is there a spell that I am under keeping me from seeing the real thing_.'" And I headed for the bed, adding a few more lines of the song in my head as I watched him out of the corner of my eye. _Love hurts, but sometimes it's a good hurt, and it feels like I'm alive. Love sings, when it transcends the bad things, so have a heart and try me…'cause without love I won't survive._

**

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Author's Note Again**;;

O.O Soooooooo yeah, Light's POV still interesting? -sweatdrop-


	4. Tortured Moonlight::Chapter Four

**Author's Note**;;

**Melodic Masterpiece**;; -thinks- 'definitely way interesting' XD That made me happy. ^-^  
**UnratedCrimsonBlood**;; Ha, yeah, now we get both sides of the story, so to speak. and you know what's going on in L's mind, too. :)  
** Freakitten**;; Light didn't actually _sing_ to L...he just quoted, and the end bit was in his own head. But yes, I think that song is...suitable.  
**magyarova**;; If you're glad, then I'm glad! ^-^

Reviews are amazing, so again, THANK YOU!!!

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Chapter Four:

Once I had stripped to my boxers and was laying down, the lack of conversation with the detective left my mind to its own devices. When I'd been speaking and my throat had hurt, I overlooked it in favor of the verbal sparring that was our usual, but left to sit and think I felt the sting left over from when I'd thrown up and I grabbed the glass of water on my night table and took small sips, refraining from wincing as the cool water hit my abused throat.

I looked over and noticed Ryuuzaki fumbling in his own night table's drawer and he pulled out a lollipop and I rolled my eyes. Then, once again, he proffered the sweet item to me and it never ceased to amaze me how awful is timing was. Or maybe that was the point? To offer sweets when the person is least likely to accept and then, when they decline, happily eat it himself. No, that wouldn't make much sense, Ryuuzaki never seemed to have any sharing problems and I wondered why considering he could be very selfish at times. "Light-kun…" he said and I met those charcoal eyes that were drilling into me. "It may sound weird but it's soothing." I gave him a skeptical look and wondered what he was thinking. The offending item was dangling between his forefinger and thumb right in front of my face and he added, "It won't bite."

"Uh…thanks." Finally, more to shut him up than anything, I took it and looked at it for a moment. He actually smiled at me and I went back to looking at the mal-nutritious item of dubious origin. _The nutrition menu must be on the box_, I thought as I scoured the wrapper for one and couldn't find it. He shuffled once more and pulled out another pop, identical to the one I was holding, and he started opening it. Not to be outdone, I undid the wrapper and discarded it atop my own night table and studied the red, rounded treat before hesitantly bringing it to my lips and I risked a glance in his direction. He was watching me, the stick of his own pop hanging cheerfully from his mouth, and I finally put my own _in_ my mouth and blinked, surprised at the fact that it wasn't as sweet as I thought it would be. My dentist my still have a Kira-unrelated heart attack, but it wasn't _bad_. In fact, I jabbed my tongue out and licked it. "It _is_ good," I admitted a bit reluctantly. He only grunted in response and I noticed his back was to me. Well, apparently _that_ was our conversation for the night.

The next morning our morning ritual went uninterrupted and I watched as he began eating cookies and ice cream for breakfast. Shaking my head, unable to understand his love for the stuff that was the downfall to so many people's bodies, I reached for the tea when Aizawa put the pot down. I looked up as I felt a warm hand bump into my own and felt heat rise to my face when I realized it was Ryuuzaki's; the same hands that had been entwined the night prior. I pulled my hand away and looked back at my monitor, surprised when a cup of tea was pushed in front of me. "Sugar, Light-kun?" I shook my head, declining, and took a sip to appease him and thank him with the same gesture. It wasn't until several hours after that when a strange, rather put-out expression appeared on Ryuuzaki's face. He stood and started pulling me after him and I had to abandon my work and barely managed to turn off the monitor, "Come." I sighed, the princess had given a simple command and I had to obey.

When he told me that the person who had committed the murder had merely been a copycat I lost it. I wasn't angry with Ryuuzaki, for once, when my temper broke and so the wall took the blow as I struck it with a closed fist. "Light-kun," Ryuuzaki said and held my hand in his, running his fingers gently over it and I shivered from the contact. Pulling my hand away I focused on the case again, pushing him against the wall with my free hand and stepped so close that if he wanted to move his body would have to brush against mine.

"We're going to get this son of a bitch, Ryuuzaki-kun," I said adamantly. I meant it, I really wanted this freak to get caught. "I need to. We can't let him get away with this," I attention wandered to the Kira investigation and my eyes narrowed minutely, "We can't let _either_ of them get away with it." I was determined and apparently that amused him as he smiled and chuckled, "What?"

"Kira would want to divert my attention to a new case, would he not, Light-kun? Also, if Kira realized that that was what I would think then he would most definitely try and remind me that we still needed to catch _him_ as well, but maybe he thought he could get enough of a lead against me if my attentions were divided?" His voice was serious and his eyes held the fire of challenge in them and I wanted to pull his hair out

I let out my breath in a hiss and said, "Always with the relentless accusations! Don't you ever tire of calling me what I'm not? It's obvious I'm not killing people or contacting anyone who might be killing people. Nor is it possible for me to contact people who might be contacting people!" I noticed something shift in his eyes, a flickering glint that told me maybe; just maybe I had hit something spot on. _Did_ he tire of it? Any normal person would, I reckoned. Then again, Ryuuzaki was a far cry from normal, "I'm not Kira, Ryuuzaki. Believe me."

Resolve, I thought, nestled itself in his gaze. "Ah, telling me what to do, yet another Kira-like thing for you to do, Light-kun." I took that step closer that pressed my chest against his and I noticed a reaction from the thinner man as he actually appeared nervous due to how physically close I was to him. I decided to play the stimulation card to try and at least make living with him slightly more comfortable and knew exactly how and where my breath would fall when I spoke.

"One request, Ryuuzaki." His lips parted slightly and I resisted the urge to cover them with my own. If I did that then I wouldn't say what I needed to say because I'd more than likely be too distracted. He blinked and then his eyes met mine and, after a moment, he nodded for me to continue. I shifted my weight to my right foot so my breath would fall against that too-white neck. Someone who deprived themselves sexually, even of their own touch, might prove an easy victim to this type of appeal. "Test me all you want out here, but when we go upstairs and are in our room – just let it be." His back arched and his neck moved closer to my lips but I kept speaking, not allowing myself to close the distance even though I knew we both wanted it. "I'm not Kira, and I don't mind being subject to your little games out here so I can prove it to you, but _I_ am tired of this and when I'm in the room I'm supposed to _sleep_ in, I'd like to feel like I can relax."

I watched with satisfaction as his eyes came back into focus and he nodded. "Very well, Light-kun. But you'll have to do something for me, then." That hadn't been unexpected, I really hadn't thought he would give me this small freedom for my mental sanity for free, but the mischievous glint in his eyes and that smile _did_ take me by surprise and I took a cautious step away from him. "Bake me a cake."

I couldn't help it, I laughed. A cake, I really should have guessed. The mood having been totally ruined anyway, when I stopped laughing I merely said, "Sure. Baking isn't exactly _difficult_, Ryuuzaki-kun. Then again, I doubt you'd have any personal experience in the matter. Any particular preference on the type?"

He crossed his arms childishly and I resisted the urge to laugh once more. But I stopped laughing at his next words and the cheer faded from my features. "Baked Alaska." Naturally, he _would_ ask for one of the more difficult cakes on the face of the Earth. But my shock passed quickly and I sent him a smug look that clearly said I accepted his challenge and turned to go back into the main office, knowing the others were probably wondering where we'd gone by that point.

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A//N

yeah...short chapter mainly cuz...I'm planning on matching chapter for chapter, but each individual chapter in here might wind up shorter than Twisted Midnight's.


	5. Tortured Moonlight::Chapter Five

**Author's Note**;;

I'm going to Florida for my cousin's wedding over the weekend so won't be on much! Sorry! Real Life is getting hectic for me this month. I'll update if I can!

**UnratedCrimsonBlood, glostarz, crazytopsparkles, Sam, Freakitten, evilanimeprincess, Death Note Demon From Hell**

Sorry, I need to go pass out, but you are all amazing and thank you so much for your reviews! I've been packing soo much and it's like three in the morning here in New York and my flight is at ten which means I have to be at the airport by eight! If I can update while I FL I will, but no promises! If not, I'll definitely have a chapter for you by Sunday night/Monday!

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Chapter Five:

I Googled the recipe for Baked Alaska and told Ryuuzaki that until I'd gotten a decent amount of sleep I wasn't even going to attempt it. It was difficult and looked rather annoying, and when I pressed the point he acceded and I asked Watari to pick up the ingredients. I decided to go with the alcohol-free version for two reasons. One, I didn't want even the slightest chance of him getting drunk. Two, I didn't want to have to set it on fire. We headed back to our room to finish up the Italy case and I was glad for the silence that blanketed us, despite feeling only slightly awkward for it. I checked to clock and suddenly felt tired. It was one of those moments where I was perfectly fine, wide awake, and then I _realized_ it was three in the morning and I felt it…tired.

I turned to Ryuuzaki to ask him if he were ready for bed and I noticed how his position had shifted. He was lying curled in the fetal position on his side on the big office chair that he had been sitting in and I couldn't help but smile as I realized he definitely looked cute, and harmless, in that position. It was a nice thought considering I knew he was very far from harmless, but he was cute, nonetheless. "L-Light," he called and I froze and wondered if he'd caught me watching him sleep. Then again, that flush to his cheeks, the timbre of his voice…_he's having another dream about me_.

I got up, I needed to know if it were true, and I knelt in front of him. Maybe this time I would touch him? No, that would feel too uninvited. I decided on waking him, maybe I'd get lucky if he were in the mood, "Ryuuzaki-kun?" I asked, my voice strong. Besides, I doubted he wanted to wake up after having another one of those dreams with me next to him like the last time. Not that he would do anything about it, no, he'd made that perfectly clear, but I didn't think I would want to wake up in that position if our positions had been reversed. He moaned loudly and the sound seemed to go straight to my own groin and I fought back one of my own as his eyes opened. I decided to play dumb, for now, testing him to see if he would tell me the truth. "Ryuuzaki-kun, are you alright?" He shifted back into a sitting position in such a way that his legs never parted and he hugged his legs to his body. "You – you must have been dreaming," I stated the obvious. "You were moving around…" I noticed he was blushing a bit and asked, "Were you having a nightmare?" His eyes shut and his face slowly returned to its normal color and I decided to push into unknown territory. "You called for me."

I really wanted to know what his dream had been about and what I could do to replicate the events, but I didn't dare push him that much just yet. His eyes had widened at my words and he said, "Well perhaps in my nightmare you turned out to be Kira. That would, after all, be fearsome enough for a nightmare. But alas, I don't remember what I was dreaming about, so it doesn't really matter now."

I scowled my obvious displeasure and pulled back a bit and watched as he swiveled his chair around, his back to me, and he began walking towards the bed, pulling me behind him. I didn't berate him for bringing up Kira since it hadn't been an accusation, but I wanted to. I knew if I did it would only end in an argument, and I really wasn't in the mood for one of those. I decided for a bit more truth, and potential embarrassment for him, instead. "Well I could have sworn the sound hadn't been too unpleasant." I allowed myself a small smile as he stopped for a moment before sitting on the bed before I added, "In fact, it sounded like you were enjoying yourself, Ryuuzaki-kun."

Finally he turned that blank, stoic look I was so accustomed with in my direction and he said, "I honestly have no idea what you're talking about, Light-kun. Perhaps it would be best if we both went to sleep now as you clearly heard something that didn't occur and I fell asleep earlier." I sighed, allowing him to pull me towards the bathroom in an almost cheerful fashion before the two of us stripped down for bed. When I woke up I was slightly amazed he was still asleep, but looking at the clock showed me it was only five-thirty in the morning and we'd only gone to bed around two hours prior. And I wasn't tired in the slightest as dawn slowly crept in through the windows. My legs, I noted in an amused fashion, had become tangled with his and I was practically nose to nose with the thumb-sucking detective.

Oh, I wanted him to suck on something else, but I forced those thoughts out of my head. _No…bad Light. Get your mind…out of the gutter, it is _way_ too early for that_! I sighed as I felt my groin give me a pained sign that said it was clearly awake and therefore I should be more awake. I left it alone, taking his stance, and ignored it in favor of not waking him up because I knew even the slightest motion on my part would, in fact, wake my bed partner up and I wasn't ready to be walking around yet. The bed was very comfortable and I happened to like being in it, even if I knew that the ability to lie there without having to move would be a short-lived feeling indeed. I was determined to enjoy every second of it. When his eyes opened my emotions were mixed. Here came the detective, and there went the peaceful man I liked to watch sleep. He moved his legs from mine and I shifted away from him as well, "Eh, Light-kun?"

I looked over at him the same moment he looked towards me and our eyes locked, "Ryuuzaki-kun," I said in a lazy reply. "What is it?" I wanted him, and I wanted to tell him, but I was suddenly nervous and unsure of myself. _Damn you, Ryuuzaki, you're the only person who's ever caused me to feel unsure of myself_. That, at least, was true. I made up my mind to kiss him but then he spoke again.

"Nothing," he said, turning away from me again and the moment was gone. "Let's get up and shower, it's going to be a long day." And so I resigned my fate to that and we solved the Italy murder case despite it being a Sunday. Ah, right, I had promised to bake him a cake, hadn't I? Baked Alaska, to be precise, and we headed for the kitchen and I started taking out the ingredients Watari had gotten at my request as well as the pans I would need before giving him a bowl of strawberry ice cream so he wouldn't attempt to eat everything I was trying to cook with before I could actually finish the cake. He made more comparisons between myself and Kira, and I wasn't entirely sure if the percentage had gotten raised, lowered or had merely remained the same but I asked him to at least wait until the brownie base for the cake was done and he pouted but agreed and went back to his ice cream. It wasn't until the base was in the oven that he looked at me oddly again and I felt my heart miss a beat. The moon was hidden behind clouds and I could see it's shape outside of the window, once in a while a cloud would shift and tease the moon, provide false hope that it would shine through much like I felt Ryuuzaki was doing to me lately. Teasing, tormenting…torturing.

He took a few steps toward me, closing the distance between us and put the bowl of ice cream down. His hand reached out and a single finger landed on my cheek, swiping upward over a small section and it came away with chocolate from the brownie mix and I inhaled sharply, trying to mask how much I wanted him as he sucked the chocolate off that finger and took a step closer to him. I wondered briefly if he were going to kiss me. _Did I want him to kiss me_, I wondered and recalled having wanted to kiss him that morning. But he turned away and I bit my lower lip and watched as a ray of moonlight fell over the back of his head as the clock struck midnight. I reached for him and pulled him toward me, hearing the _crash_ of pottery breaking on a linoleum floor as his ice cream bowl shattered and his lips were suddenly against mine. One of my hands cradled the back of his head and the other pressed against his back, molding the front of his body to mine as the tortured moonlight broke free of its confinement and shone on us directly.

At first, nothing happened, and I wondered if perhaps I had made a mistake. Maybe he hadn't wanted it, after all. Maybe I shouldn't have kissed him. I was about to break the obviously one-sided kiss when his arms were around my neck and _he was kissing me back_. It was sloppy, it was wet, but by the Gods it was the best kiss I'd ever experienced. Not that I had much by way of experience, but this was simply amazing as my lips and tongue taught his what to do whether or not he realized that was what I was doing; and he was definitely an adept and quick study, not that that was very surprising. This was one of those moments I wished never would end, that I could find a way to savor and commit to memory. Every sensory detail I wanted to make note of, but the burning in my lungs caused me to pull away eventually as I gasped for air and I realized it still held true: he made me _feel_. There was s dull ding. Merely background noise, but I was willing to bet that if I let that brownie base burn he'd never forgive me and I pulled away. His hand latched onto mine and his eyes widened and I could have laughed. He, Ryuuzaki, the King of Sweets, had apparently _forgotten_! "I'm baking you Alaska, remember?" I asked simply, smiling softly at him.

* * *

A//N

Yeeeaaaahhh AWE 3


	6. Tortured Moonlight::Chapter Six

**Author's Note**;;

Sooo Florida is nice and warm! ^-^ I'm going to head to the pool as soon as my phone is done charging, and I charge my phone with my laptop so I'm writing the next chapter.

Thanks to everyone reviewing!! I don't have time to write to all of you as I, once more, snuck away to publish this chapter!

Thanks to **Freakitten, Magyarova, Death Note Demon From Hell, glostarz and snow-leaopard-24**

* * *

Chapter Six:

I let go of his hand so I could take the brownies out of the oven and set it to cool. I set another timer and turned back towards him, intending on repeating my prior action and kissing him once more and noticed he'd wrapped his arms almost protectively around himself. _Maybe I can change that defensive feeling_, I thought as I tugged on the chain lightly to get his attention, smiling a bit. He took a step away and I hesitated, wondering if I should have just closed the distance between us and done it anyway. I looked down towards the floor, scattered with ice cream and broken pottery, and wondered if I should have let the brownie burn and kept kissing him. Would he still be acting this way, or would it just have delayed the inevitable. I couldn't help but feel I'd made some sort of mistake, some miscalculation, and I switched back to working on the cake although I didn't really want to anymore. But it was worth it, baking him the cake, if it meant getting him to keep his word about not accusing me of being Kira while in the bedroom.

I felt his eyes on me, watching me, marking my every movement and I wanted to stop and kiss him again, but I didn't. When the brownies had finally cooled off enough I put it in the freezer and turned towards him once more, feeling a tad lost as I flashed him a ghost of the smile I had worn earlier. He flinched and I felt like my heart plummeted to my stomach. _It figures, the one person I ever have feelings for is going to turn me down._ "Light-kun," he said, looking anywhere but at my eyes which were desperately seeking his as he bit his nail, a clear sign of nerves. "Um…a-about before," he continued and he looked like he was shaking slightly and his tongue darted out, sweeping over his lips and I felt like I'd taken some sort of blow that hit me, not unpleasantly, in my groin.

I took two steps in his direction and he looked up again, unsure what he wanted or what he would say. I felt like I had lain my heart on a silver platter and given him a knife, and I had given him a sort of power over me and instantly regretted it. I had taken a risk, a gambol, that he might feel even remotely the same way I did, and I was sincerely willing to let him keep the damned platter and knife with its gift if he would just accept them. "What is it, Ryuuzaki?" I asked tentatively, not sure how he would react. I had always been gifted at reading people, but he was harder than most and made even more difficult because of my feelings toward him.

His dark eyes that I could easily fall into met my boring, brown ones and he spoke once more, "Uh…why did you, I mean, what prompted you to-" He stopped and I felt nervous, scared, and I didn't like the sensations one bit. If this was what falling for someone was like I didn't understand why people liked it so much. His eyes left mine and roved the room and, once again, fell on anything but me before finally settling on the floor. He was going to reject me, and he wasn't even going to _look_ at me! I knew he had limited social interactions, but he _had_ to know better than that, right? "I mean, just now why did you k-"

"Kiss you?" I demanded, knowing finally the end of his question and I got angry. Why the Hell did he _think_ I'd kissed him? He'd comforted me while I had thrown up and even held my hand, and lately I had thought there had been more between us than mere camaraderie of working together, and I thought he felt the same. And, of course, there was the memory of him asking me about my feelings for Misa and tricking me into admitting how I felt about him. Why would he want to know those things, unless…Kira. It all came back to Kira, oh how I loathed Kira for all of this! I stepped closer to him and placed a few fingers below his chin. He would at least have the decency of looking at me if he were going to reject me, but he closed his eyes. "Look at me. You, with your attitude lately, asking me why I'd kissed you. I" I felt dejected and I lowered my hand, he was obviously not interested in me the way I'd thought, despite the passion with which he'd kissed me back. And even still, if he _did_ like me that way, then he shouldn't be acting like this – acting like I'd done something wrong!

I watched as his eyes opened and I said, "thought you wanted me to. I thought that maybe…you know what, never-mind! Just forget it happened." I turned and began doing the dishes, cleaning up, because forgetting would be easier and was obviously what he preferred. Besides, if I said forget it he would hopefully know I hadn't had any ulterior motives like he clearly believed me to possess. "Spoiled brat," I managed under my breath and didn't care if he heard me. It was true, stupid, spoiled, bratty princess. Apparently the princess hadn't been expecting the kiss, or just hadn't wanted to be kissed, and now because the princess was confused or whatever I was suffering for it. Well, forgetting it really did seem the best bet, because that was what Ryuuzaki wanted. And I would forget my feelings, because it would be easier for me, too.

I was just going to ignore him, I needed time to cool down before I could even think about speaking to him again. I froze as he spoke again, his voice cutting me like a knife. "It's just," but I started working again, choosing to ignore him because the last thing I wanted was to speak to him at the moment. I could feel the string of my temper thinning and didn't really feel like fighting with him again, so I ignored him so I wouldn't turn around and snap at him verbally, or worse, physically. "You're my suspect; I'm trying to put you in jail. It's not that I didn't…want you to kiss me." Again, my mind flashed to Kira and hatred wasn't a word I could use to describe what I felt towards the mass-murderer. I wet a rag so I could wipe down the counters, "I – I _did_ want you to, and my, er, apologies if I acted in a way to lead you on but I know it's wrong for us to do things like that." I kept cleaning because, if I stopped, I would wind up trembling. He'd _wanted_ me to kiss him and he'd admitted it, how dare he act like this only affected him!

"Listen, Light-kun, please," and I did stop. He had actually said please and I realized it wasn't a word I was accustomed to hearing from that voice, so I stopped. "It's wrong. On several different levels. One, it's a conflict of interests for me. I'm L, top detective in the world, and I'm trying to get you convicted on charges of being Kira. You need to realize that, even if you wind up being Kira, and we wind up, ah, more than we are now I will have to follow my duty and still hand you over to Justice." Justice, he'd said, and I went back to cleaning. It really _did_ all come back to Kira, like I had assumed, and I felt my resolve to ignore him turn to steel. "Not to mention your father won't be pleased if he finds out, nor would the Investigation Team." He was now making excuses, something I hated, and he added, "I've been able to work around my attraction to you for a while now, so I think that-"

I spun and I _did_ hit him, then. He'd been attracted to me for a while and never let on, never said anything? My hand connected with his cheek and he winced, taking a step away from me and I felt a moment of guilt before I recalled just how hard he was able to hit back. He could handle this, besides, it wasn't right the way he was toying with my emotions. He'd rejected me, and now he had the audacity to tell me he'd been attracted to me for a while? I dimly recalled the dream he'd had when we'd first moved into the new building, and I asked, "How long have you been _attracted_ to me, Ryuuzaki?" I. Was. Pissed. He mumbled something and, despite how physically close I was, I couldn't hear it and I changed tactics. "Louder. So I can hear you, L."

"Since…" he started to answer and I held my breath, feeling weak and wondering what I had done wrong, "Since before I met you…" _Before_ he'd met me? That would mean since the time he had been watching me from the cameras, or maybe even earlier than then. I had known he'd suspected me of being Kira, but I hadn't known he had liked me as well. I'd known about the cameras…and that he'd been watching. I ran a hand through my hair, processing this new information and wondered why he'd never let me know. I glanced his way, to ask, but he was a step ahead of me. "Because it was a bad idea. Light-kun, being with each other is bad for both of us. If I'd told you earlier and we had, what, gotten together? Well, we'd still be in this pickle. No, it's better if we just forget all of this and go back to how things were." He had repeated my words from earlier, _forget it_, and I wanted to hit him again or kiss him again. I wasn't sure which urge was stronger and I realized he'd just been making more excuses before he said, "Light-kun, we just can't-"

"Won't," I interrupted and turned away from him. I felt like the vulnerable part of me that was weak was retreating, and it was leaving me with a slightly familiar feeling that I didn't want to explore. I was glad my back was to him before speaking once more so he couldn't see through my eyes how dead I felt inside. "You mean you _won't_, Ryuuzaki. You're so decided that I'm Kira you won't even see how ludicrous it might be that you're wrong." I spun to glare, letting him see just how angry I was at this whole entire situation and, yes, at him. "You pushed me, tested me, was it just to turn me away? Was this also just some test, Ryuuzaki? Was it a test to see if I fell for you or not; a test, yet again, to see if I were Kira? OH, let me guess…" I paused, hearing the bitterness in my own voice, and he winced. "Because I made a move on you my percentages of being Kira have risen, right? Because I tried to _seduce_ you, I'm Kira? Because having L under Kira's control would be absolutely exhilarating, right? And now that I'm standing here and asking about chances and _won't_, you're raising it higher still. Please, Ryuuzaki, prove me wrong. I dare you." I _wanted_ him to prove me wrong, I wanted him to kiss me, instead he sat on the floor with broken shards of pottery around him that resembled how my heart felt. It was easier not to love, it was easier not to care.

He stood up slowly and for once his expression wasn't emotionless, wasn't stoic. He looked slightly shocked and I felt satisfaction at being able to break that cool, collected detective of his blank cop face. It was his turn to show me his back and he said, "That was harsh, Light-kun." I flinched, wondering if I shouldn't have said it, but I wanted him to think…I wanted him to care. I wanted him to _feel_. He began walking and I followed, my energy feeling rather depleted and I left the mess on the floor, not caring for the moment and not wondering how it would get cleaned up. The night passed in silence and the next day I finished the cake, serving him a piece so he couldn't use that as an excuse to accuse me of being Kira in the bedroom, and he thanked me. I ignored him, not feeling like a 'thank you' was adequate considering how things had gone, and when the rest of the Investigation Team were muttering about an intervention I began speaking to him, but only when they were around.

One night I woke to find him sitting eerily close, a hand hovering over my face as if he'd been touching me, and I asked, "Wh-what were you doing?" I suddenly felt nervous and tried to kill the hope that fluttered once more inside my heart. When he didn't answer me at first, I prompted him despite myself, "Ryuuzaki-kun…" He muttered something about me appearing to have a nightmare, and I left the situation alone and felt rather wise about it, and then he suggested getting up since it was close to morning and I flipped out. He'd just wanted to wake me up! And then we were kicking, punching and pulling at any part of the other we could get our hands on as we fought, the bed taking more damage than either of us, and we finally paused when Watari phoned him.

After that fight, though, things more or less returned to how they had been and I felt the increase in the Team's morale and hated that my being petty towards Ryuuzaki and ignoring him had led to any decrease. But that was done with, and I was newly resolved to win him over. He _did_ like me, and I knew he wanted me. Little touches, furtive glances, secret smiles flashed in his direction had become my newest game as I flirted with him while keeping it secret from the others and it wasn't until the night before Matsuda's birthday I broached the subject of my intentions. "I will have you, Ryuuzaki," I said as I put down the novel I was reading and looked at him. "Or, well, I'm going to try and win you over. Your words may say one thing, but I know your body," and your emotions, I added silently, "wants otherwise." I looked for any reaction and noticed he was utterly still, which, in itself, _was_ a reaction. I turned onto my side and said, "You will be mine."

* * *

A//N

Yeeeaaaahhh AWE 3


	7. Tortured Moonlight::Chapter Seven

**Author's Notes**;;

Well I'm back from Florida and writing will resume, at least for a week, because I'm going on vacation soon to Mexico; just warning you in advance. I'll remind you closer to, but while in Mexico I probably won't be able to write anything. :(

**glostarz**;; ^-^ I love that I charge my phone with my laptop, the computer has to be on for the phone to charge. -.-  
**Death Note Demon From Hell**;; Hehe, I thought the words appropriate. He _is_ cocky. Thanks for the review!!!  
**Yuka-chan16**;; It's alright, I understand that real life takes precedence over FF :)  
**Divanora**;; LOL, when I was writing Twisted Midnight the scene with Light getting shot was the only one I was looking forward to writing, and then eventually the very ending. Welll we're here!  
**Freakitten**;; LOL yeah like I said I snuck into the lobby and managed to write in the names just before posting the chapter. O.O

* * *

Chapter Seven:

The next morning when I woke up, my resolve hadn't left me, and when we headed for the shower I decided it was time to at least lay on some charm. If I were really going to go through with wooing the older man, I was going to give my best effort. I was nothing if not determined, and once I set my mind to something I didn't give up until I achieved my goal. Looking at the detective I knew I would either fail miserably or success would be well worth it.

I would take the approach, and seduction, slowly. It wasn't like I didn't have time, and I didn't think rushing the introvert would be beneficial so I began by opening doors for him and waiting for him to go through first. I briefly debated making a move in the shower, but nudity often provoked feeling vulnerable which might make him more defensive, and that was something I was hoping to avoid. The rest of the day went by relatively swiftly and, before we headed out with the rest of the team to celebrate Matsuda's birthday, I decided to make yet another calculated , strategic move in this new game I had put on the board. After he slipped on his shoes I placed a hand on his shoulder to get his attention. He turned around slowly, his face a calm mask that I wanted to break; I wanted him to show me what he was thinking, I wanted him to _feel_ just like he made me feel.

I slid my hand slowly down his arm while merely looking into those black orbs, seeking any kind of reaction as my hand finally settled in his and I raised our joined limbs slowly and placed a kiss atop each knuckle before licking along his index finger. I felt the smallest smile tug my lips briefly as something pass through those dark eyes and he pulled away, "I'm sorry." He was sorry? I couldn't tell from his expression, but I had seen that small chink in the armor…and I would remember it. I stopped when we were almost at the door and pulled on the chain when he noticed and he let me. "What is it, Light-kun?"

As I watched him walk towards me I noticed that, despite his horrible posture while walking, if he stood straight he wouldn't be marked by his usual slouch. His eyes, which were usually devoid of emotion, were like stones of onyx and reflected my own face back at me as clearly as if they were mirrors. His face had a nice structure beneath the rough exterior and his lips looked more than inviting. I leaned down and gently spoke, "Ryuuzaki," hoping to catch those lips with my own but he turned his neck and I found his cheek instead.

The game hadn't changed, he'd just changed the rules and raised the ante. "L-Light…" he stammered, "d-don't…" His hands pressed against my chest feebly although I knew he possessed enough strength to push me off if he really wanted to. Spurred on by that thought I let my lips find that salty-sweet spot against his skin that lay gently over his pulse and his position changed again and I heard a gasp escape the lips that had escaped my attention. He'd said 'don't,' so I had. I wanted to make him want the attention, and when he did I would stop. I sucked on his neck, not hard enough to leave a mark but enough that, as I moved my tongue toward his ear he pulled me toward him and a small moan was the appreciation he showed. It was time, and I pulled away, catching his eyes with my own. "As you wish, Ryuuzaki." I turned and opened the door and walked into the main office, not looking behind me and we all headed for the restaurant. The game wasn't nearly over, I had many more hands to play, and each was designed to create a chink in his defenses. Eventually, they would crack; eventually they would fall.

Midway through dinner, I slipped my left hand onto his thigh and left it there. I caught the slight shift in his expression that lasted less than a second, but it had been there. His own hand came down and covered mine before he realized his slip and moved it away again, but I kept my hand there a few moments longer to let him know that _I_ wouldn't go away as easily as that. I liked him, I wasn't sure why, but I did. It had taken me a while to figure it out, but since I had I was going to put my best effort into it…I wouldn't run away from it. There weren't many people that I cared about, and the fact that he managed to fall into that category was beyond me, but that wasn't something I was quite ready to dive into yet…I'd let that part of me remain a mystery for at least a bit longer.

As the slightly inebriated policemen walking ahead of us on the way home made plans for more of a party on Matsuda's floor, I stopped as I noticed my shoe was undone. It was one of my pet peeves, my appearance, and having undone laces would bother me to no end. I knelt on one knee and began the looping process when I heard something that was a source of confusion all around. "Hey, L!" I looked up and across the street towards where a man stood on a balcony of a hotel that was across the street from building headquarters was in and my eyes narrowed on the hand that was, as if in slow-motion, coming from behind his back with some sort of gun.

I didn't know enough about guns to know the make or model, but I knew he meant to take L's life. I didn't think, I just knew that if L died then we would never catch Kira. We could pretend we were good enough, but without L it wouldn't be the same. That was what I told myself as the man pulled the trigger and I stood up, stood between the bullet and the detective, and it hit my shoulder and I spun with the impact and my eyes suddenly met the man whose life I had saved. I had always been brilliant at lying to myself and ignoring the exploration of emotions that might have stirred any action I could take, and I fell forward, still not quite feeling anything. That was bad. Small, shallow wounds hurt instantaneously, but the deeper ones always took longer to feel. I dimly recalled two more shots following the first and, in the seconds it took me to fall, I realized I was still worried about him. I had the feeling that my self-deception couldn't last much longer, perhaps my feelings ran a bit deeper than _like_, but pain blossomed in my right shoulder and he caught me; he kept me from falling completely and, despite that he looked paler than usual and his eyes a bit wider than was customary for him, he was unhurt…and I was glad.

* * *

A//N

Welll yeah

short, again

mainly because

I've already written it? XD


	8. Tortured Moonlight::Chapter Eight

**Author's Notes**;;

Sooo this chapter will probably be very, very short. Because Light is unconscious for a lot of it. XD

**glostarz**;; LOL Yeah, imagine how everyone felt while I was writing the first one and left at the cliffhanger. ^-^ And yes, Light _does_ know how to lay on the moves. ;)  
**Death Note Demon From Hell**;; Hmmm, I suppose so. I mean it's really all up to my speculation and interpretation at this point. I had no idea what Light was thinking in that chapter until I wrote it. XD  
**UnratedCrimsonBlood**;; I'm hoping for dark chocolate. –nods-  
**Freakitten**;; Haha, yes, Light knows what he's doing, so to speak. And…NYC is amazing.

* * *

Chapter Eight:

He caught me and the next thing I knew there was pressure added to the same area as the place I'd been shot. The burning feeling didn't cease, the pain didn't stop, and the pressure only added to it and I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from crying out. Pressure was necessary to slow the bleeding. I realized my head was resting on his lap and saw my own father, a gun in one hand, kneeling next to Ryuuzaki and trying to pull him away from me. _No_, I thought, that was the last thing I wanted. I lifted my left hand to place it over both of his hands, which were firmly pressed against my right shoulder, to show that I wanted _him_ to stay there but it only rose a few inches from the ground before my vision went slightly splotchy from a mixture of shock and stress. "Don't…leave me," he said and I realized that, if it were in my power to do comply with his request, I wouldn't leave him. Deep down I was fairly certain a small part of me loved the sweets-obsessed man. Why? Why him? When had it happened? With that realization, darkness finally took me over and I fainted.

I swam in and out of consciousness a few times until I felt the effects of a sedative and drifted into a deep sleep, but I knew Ryuuzaki had come into the ambulance with me and hadn't taken the cuffs off. Not even getting shot would allow him to trust me enough to do that, or maybe he was too worried about me? Nah, probably not. I knew he kept the key in his back pocket, but none of it mattered since I couldn't speak to ask him. The next thing I became aware of were bright lights and I groaned my displeasure as my eyes opened slowly then closed once more and I threw my left arm (considering the right had an IV in it) across my eyes to block out the offensive, non-substantial existence whose name I bore. I felt warm pressure against my lips and hands pressing against the bed and I moved my arm, taken aback at the kiss. Black hair tickled my forehead, but the matching eyes were closed and I kissed him back and realized he was kissing me gently, almost as if afraid I would break. It had been a surprise, but a pleasant one, and when he finally broke the kiss, leaning his forehead against mine, I said, "I should get shot more often."

He frowned and I refrained from laughing as he pulled gently at my hair and then those sweetened lips were kissing me again. When we finally broke for air he sat on the edge of the bed and gave me his response, "I absolutely forbid you." I did laugh then, and he crossed his arms over his chest sullenly. So he had been worried, and worried enough to apparently make the decision that kissing me was worth the risks compared to having almost lost me. It had worked out in my favor, getting shot, better than I ever could have planned only I wasn't too certain I was in control anymore. The realization that I was in deeper than I had thought was still there and I wanted to kiss him again, but my dad was awake and asking why we hadn't woken him up, and I was just trying to figure out why I had never noticed he'd been there in the first place. If he'd woken up while Ryuuzaki and I had kissed, well, I didn't even want to think about the repercussions of that and finally Ryuuzaki made an excuse that he'd been filling me in on the Kira case.

It wasn't until after my father had left, after the nurse had come and gone that I realized what Ryuuzaki kissing me had meant. I had the feeling he cared about me more than even he realized and it wasn't a game anymore. Our feelings and emotions were involved at that point and I wasn't sure either of us would be able to stop even if we'd wanted to. It probably would have been smart to stop, but I didn't want to…I wanted him. It wasn't going to be easy, but when had I ever shied away from a decision because it wouldn't be _easy_? The answer, of course, was never. I loved him, and now that I'd more or less seduced him and knew he might feel the same way, I owed it to him to see it through. The thought that he might be pretending to get me to confess was no longer part of my thought process. I didn't think he meant to kiss me when I woke up. I had always been good at reading people, and I thought he'd been just as surprised as I had to find his lips on mine. _Well,_ I thought, _at least we're in this together. For better or worse, we're in the same boat._

I was released from the hospital the next day and when we got back to headquarters I helped as much as I could despite one of my arms being in a sling. Neither of us spoke of feelings or emotions. In fact, the day before wasn't brought up until he took out a wallet…the wallet of the mane who'd tried to shoot him. _Justin J. Tailor_. If it had just been the last name, it might have been a coincidence. But the fact that the first and middle names started with the same letter…well, I didn't think it was a coincidence anymore and I automatically thought of Lind L. Tailor. I didn't know why I was so angry at the sudden memory, but I was. I ignored it and wanted nothing more than to close this case quickly so I didn't have to think about it.

* * *

A//N

Wow, I'm surprised I managed to bang out this much into the chapter. O.O

I didn't have much to work with considering Light is, as I mentioned, unconscious for most of it in Twisted Midnight.


	9. Tortured Moonlight::Chapter Nine

**Author's Notes**;;

I'm SO SORRY for the delay in this chapter. I went to Mexico and didn't have time to update, then life kicked me in the bum. ANYWAY!!! I'm also planning on getting an apartment with my boyfriend and moving out of my parent's house, finally, and that's something else that's been keeping my attention elsewhere. I'm SORRY! Welllll here we go…

****Mature Content Warning****

**glostarz**;; Yeah, although I personally feel L was easier to write. (For me, anyway…)  
**Eiri and Kurama lover07**;; Well, Twisted Midnight is the better version of this story, in my opinion. It's more complete, more detailed; this is just because people were curious what Light was thinking. A lot of people are reading them concurrently.  
**magyarova**;; Yes, yes it is. ;)  
**Freakitten**;; Yes…it was pretty short, but I did think it was sweet. XD  
**forbalathegreen**;; Uhm…thanks! For the review, I really appreciate it.  
**Death Note Demon From Hell**;; I'm glad people are still interested in this story, despite most having already read the other TM. XD  
**Divanora**;; Yeah, I'm definitely more comfortable in L's skin, so to speak. -.-  
**Yuka-Chan16**;; Yes, yes it is XD  
**forbalathegreen**;; I know I should be more concerned with grammar, but I'm not. If you find anything substantial feel free to PM me, I do want to improve but writing sadly takes a back-seat to my day-job.  
**Rai Vinn**;; Haha, yes to the bulk of that but he'll be out of the sling as some time passes. XD  
**Dalin**;; I'm glad you're enjoying it despite lack of Death Note knowledge. I'm glad you can, because a lot of the time I get confused reading fanfics if I haven't seen/read the what they are based on. :)

This chapter is **dedicated** to Freakitten.

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Chapter Nine:

We didn't waste time figuring out who Justin was and that he was Lind's brother, but the most disconcerting thing about the situation was that there had been a sketch of L's face in the wallet as well. We had just learned that Justin had been a member of the Japanese police force as well as having his own history in crime when Ryuuzaki said, "Come on, Light-kun…let's go to bed." I felt a surge of anger. I was tired, there was no denying it, but I didn't think he was. When Ryuuzaki said it was time for bed there was usually some underlying motive and then the anger ebbed away as I realized he was worried about me.

I smiled and stood up, grabbing the bottle of pain meds and was fairly certain I wouldn't win this argument, but I could try. I started with a joke, "Are you asking me to go to bed with me, Ryuuzaki?" I purposefully left out the honorific and took a step towards him and added, "Because if that's the case I really don't have the energy right now." Not much of a reaction, just a slight narrowing of almost nonexistent eyebrows to show I was getting to him. I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his upper body and he shivered slightly. I whispered in his ear, "It's sweet of you to be concerned, but I want to get to the bottom of this as well. Don't say 'let's go to bed' simply for my sake."

He nodded and turned around, still in my arms, and slipped his own around my waist. I was nervous he was going to reject me again, scared he would come up with more excuses, but he'd kissed me in the hospital and I didn't want to let enough time pass for him to have second thoughts. His lips graced mine briefly and my nerves seemed pushed aside, at least for the moment. "You were right," he said softly, almost as if he didn't want to say it. I was vaguely reminded of when I'd told him the same sentence regarding Misa, but I didn't know what he was talking about. "Last week. You were right when you said I wouldn't try." Suddenly those nerves came back magnified and I waited for him to say something else, wondering what the admission would wind up costing us. I was going to tell him to at least give me a try when he put his fingers over my lips. "Don't." So I didn't. If I don't say this now, then I probably never will. You were right when you said I wasn't willing to try, and even now I know I shouldn't. I hate feeling this way, torn between want and should. I should stop this, us, just as much as I should never have kissed you in the hospital."

I felt like I waited for an eternity for that other shoe to drop. Were all my efforts doomed to failure, always? His hand brushed my face as he moved some hair out of my eyes and he spoke once more, "I should turn away from this." Should didn't mean would, I had a moment to think, and his face moved closer to mine and I sought for his lips. I wanted to kiss him, hold him, Hell, I'd take him to bed if that was what he wanted as long as he didn't stop this. But he didn't let me kiss him. The next time he spoke it was so softly the sound of breathing could have been heard over it, "But I want you." I felt myself relax minutely, "Despite my inner voice of reason, I'm attracted to you." He smiled and pushed away, dragging me towards the bed as my brain worked out what he'd said. Love was scary, I finally decided, as I watched him carefully. "Light-kun, the doctor said you need to rest," he said and climbed onto the bed. I wasn't sure how he could be sensitive and insensitive at the same time but eventually we changed and went to sleep, or, I went to sleep, I wasn't sure if he'd slept or not.

Two weeks passed and on September third we closed the Tailor case. I was out of the sling, thankfully, and the person who'd given Tailor Ryuuzaki's face was dead, which was a relief, and he was checking into the possibility of Tailor having accomplices when the rest of the Team wanted to go out and celebrate. The only reason I slightly wanted to go was to get out of Headquarters and stretch my legs, but I thought of other ways I'd prefer to stretch if the rest of the Team were absent and didn't put up much of a mock fight when Ryuuzaki predictably claimed he didn't want to go. When they were gone he crossed to me to sit on my lap, something I definitely never complained about, and it felt natural as our tongues played tag.

He was slowly driving me insane. I had never been one to rush things. I prized my calculating mind and patience as some of my greatest assets, but Ryuuzaki set my blood on fire in a way that threatened to engulf me completely and drive me absolutely stark mad; mad to the point where I might need a straight-jacket. And it was that need for _him_ that drove me to hold on to him tightly and bring our entangled bodies to the floor. I bit his neck, not hard enough to leave a mark, and I licked, kissed and nipped at every inch of skin I could find as I pushed him onto his back and climbed on top of him. I was desperate for him. He was the drink of life, and I had fast become addicted – as addicted to him as he was to sugar. I had decided a long while back that he would be mine; that I would have him, and I decided to push my luck. I had to have the upper hand early on otherwise he might try to be dominant and that was a position I coveted for myself. I had looked it up and done my research and I felt mostly confident that I knew what to do. I slid my hand down more out of reflex than anything, just wanting him and trying my luck once more. As my hand slid between the top of his jeans and his boxers he froze and I resisted the urge to swear and paused. "I – is this ok?" There, I had asked permission, the ball was in his court.

I felt like I waited for eternity for his answer, the answer that would cure so much of my frustration, and then he nodded. Permission. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding as I unbuttoned his pants and slid them down just enough before sliding my hand under the fabric of his boxers and taking his shaft into my hand and planned on showing him just what he was missing when he denied himself satisfaction. It was hot to the touch and his hips bucked as his back arched and I smiled; he was losing that control he valued so much. I watched his face, for once completely unguarded, as I began to stroke him slowly. I wanted him to ask me for it…just like he had muttered in his dream. I teased him and loved that his emotions were, for once, on his sleeve and he was helpless to stop it as his body reacted and I ignored the red welts springing on the flesh of my back as a result of his nails – I hadn't realized he had enough nails for that, but it wasn't unpleasant.

I ignored my own member as I got a pleasure of a different sort watching him writhe at my simplest touches. He moaned loudly as his head fell back and he finally asked, "L-Light…p-please." I smiled again and moved my hand faster as I slid down his body and concentrated on a new task, taking him into my mouth. I didn't like it, but the sounds and motions he made over-rode my displeasure with the task and I felt his hands in my hair. He moaned and said my name once more before hot liquid rushed into my mouth. It didn't taste good, yet it held a hint of…sugar? It really was true when they said 'You are what you eat,' at least as far as taste went. There were a lot of comparisons to sweets I could have made with Ryuuzaki, least among them being _bad_ for a person, but I didn't really want to think overly much and let the topic slide into the 'think about later' category in my brain. I kissed him briefly and he recoiled at the taste of himself on my tongue. I laughed before laying next to him and he curled up against me, his head resting on my chest.

He stirred a few moments later and looked at me a bit shyly. Either I was getting better at reading his facial expressions or he wasn't guarding them as carefully, but I knew he was feeling shy. "Thank you. That was, I mean, it was…" I would have laughed again given time but he kissed me and was suddenly on top of me; and he was smiling. "My turn," he said, lips pressed against my ear and I shivered. And then those marvelous lips and tongue were on me. I moaned and time began to move in a funny, leaping type of way and I seemed to lose seconds when pleasure threatened to overwhelm me. The next thing I knew my pants and boxers were in a pile on the floor near his own. His hands were warm on my thighs and excruciatingly slow in their movements and it left me wondering if he'd ever done this before.

The look in his eyes when he finally took me in his hand told me he hadn't, but I didn't have time to appreciate that because in that moment he was to me like oxygen was to fire; necessary for survival. He stroked me until I was sure I would beg like he had, but I barely managed not to before his mouth was on me – around me. When he took me all the way in, a considerable feat considering my size, and I felt my length slide along the contours of his throat I let out an undignified scream. "Ryuuzaki!" But it stopped and I distantly heard his cell-phone ringing. "Can't you just ignore it?" I asked, feeling rather disgruntled at being interrupted and he shook his head 'no.'

"Hello Watari," I heard. _Watari_? The moment was being interrupted and ruined by _Watari_? He wasn't even in the building and he had the potential to ruin everything. I decided I hated his phone, I hated Watari and I hated all sweets. I hated anything that had the potential of taking his attention from me and I smiled deviously as my hand found his semi-hard cock. I noticed his eye widen and I pushed him onto his back once more, kissing his anywhere I could reach while I stroked him. He would be _mine_. "Uhh…nnng, W-Watari c-can we talk l-later?" I chuckled as I noticed my plan on distracting him was working far better than I'd hoped and I raised up my right hand (newly freed from the confines of it's former sling) and told him to suck. "Uhhmmm n-no I'm fiiiiiine…" he murmerd into the phone then did as he was told, giving me a curious look. "Watari I…repeat that, please?" When I thought my fingers were well-coated in saliva I pulled them out of his mouth and inserted one into the opening in his anus. I was surprised I could act with confidence considering I had only read up on this briefly. But I knew enough about human anatomy and I couldn't help but smile again as I kept him distracted and I could tell by his facial expression he was trying his best not to give himself away by screaming. "On second thought," he said, and I took it as a cue. I slid a second finger into him and he squirmed once more. He was still very, very tight and I was fairly certain it was too tight. I watched his face and eyes and saw him force himself to relax which, I noticed, made him less tense and less tight. I slid in a third finger and made a scissor-like motion and he sounded almost panicked as he said, "No!" I kept my free hand on his rod, stroking him and trying to distract him and he added, "No…not you, Watari…mmm, I, er…L-Light!" His valued control was in pieces, shattered, at least for the moment and it left him completely unguarded and I committed his expression to memory. I took a moment while he was distracted and speaking once more to coat my own member in a mix of my saliva and pre-cum, "I'll call you, nrrrg, later…" And then he chucked the phone across the room and victory, I knew, was mine as I slid into him slowly. I angled his hips with my hands, aiming for the spot just behind the ball-sac and felt when I connected by the way he reacted. He was _mine_.

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A//N

Again, I'm sorry! I'll try to get this updated more frequently.


	10. Tortured Moonlight::Chapter Ten

**Authors Notes**;;

SOOO I wrote this a bit ago but FF hasn't been letting me log in so I could let you all read it.

**glostarz**;; Why thank you –takes a bow- LMFAO But I do know my limits… -.-  
**Freakitten**;; Yes, you, because you were the only one who PM'd me and asked if I was OK. It was very thoughtful of you.  
**Summer-Love-Ari**;; I'm trying to get back to my regular schedule, it's just not working very well !_!  
**forbalathegreen**;; hahahaha yeah, Light's like 'SCORE!!!!!!' o.o It only took…9 chapters. Lmfao  
**Tinuviel Simbelmyne**;; That's awesome! And I read your review of Twisted Midnight and I probably wouldn't have been as strong as L, either. XD BUT OH WELL! As for an apartment, I found one I really like but it's across from a school….. -.-  
**Dotti55**;; I read your review, too, of Twisted Midnight and I have to say I like things being canon-like. That doesn't mean I can't have fun with the stories. I'm glad you liked my ending, though.

**Eiri and Kurama lover07**;; LOL! WELLLLL there's plenty of lemony goodness in the story. Ahemmmmm. I figured it was a nice place to end it……….. XD And here's the next chapter (whenever they decide to let me log in).  
**Racharae**;; HIIIIIIIIIIIII –clings to leg- OMG LIFE IS SO BUSY RIGHT NOW. ANWAYYYY I'm gonna stop with the caps now. Yeah. Probably. o.o **P.S.** IT'S OKAY!!! **P.P.S.** OK so I lied about the caps. XD  
**Divanora**;; LOL I'M GLAD I'M BACK TOO. Now I just want to log in. Yeah. Obviously if you're reading this I've been able to, BUT I don't know when that will be.

SO Liz is awesomely amazing for getting the bracelet commissioned for Cosplay. SHHHHHH. Yeah. I'm a fangirl for my fangirls? –tilts head to the side- IT MADE SENSE IN MY HEAD!!!!!

Ok ON WITH THE STORY!

****Mature Content Warning****

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Chapter Ten:

Getting to bed had been a blur, but waking up half-naked the next morning was nerve-wracking. There wasn't much in the world that I would call scary or nerve-wracking, but the fact that I couldn't justify to myself that I felt such emotions agitated me even more. Then his eyes met mine and I froze. What was it about Ryuuzaki that made me everything I didn't want to be…and not mind? Because I didn't mind. I said the only thing I could think of and would later wish I could have been more articulate, but what had come out was "Hi."

It felt like eternity before he smiled back and replied with the same, and then his eyes found the clock. I didn't like the clock; it took his attention from me. I wanted nothing more than to smash the clock to pieces, but my attention re-focused as he sat up and said, "It hurts!" in one of his most pathetic voices. I felt somewhat bad, but not bad enough not to laugh. He was cute when he whined.

I pulled him towards me for a kiss and asked, "Want me to kiss it better?" I had every intention of doing just that, and then a whole lot more as my mind suddenly pictured him wiggling beneath me again. But much to my dismay and disappointment, he pushed me away and undid the handcuffs so we could shower. Wait, the shower was a place we would both be naked in for a while, and I followed him as I contemplated the best way to get what my body wanted: him. After a few minutes of contemplation in the water I made my move. I was just going to go for it, try and arouse him and make him want me as much as I wanted him. I moved to behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist, kissing his neck and smiling a bit victoriously as he tilted his head aside to give me better access. He shook his head 'no' and, although he couldn't see me, I shook my head 'yes.'

He turned around, breaking my contact with his skin, and said, "We really don't have time for this." But as I leaned towards him he met my lips with his own, kissing me just as passionately as I kissed him. I knew then it wouldn't matter what he said from then on, he wanted me and the evidence was firming by the second. I moaned lightly as I deepened the kiss and heard, "Uhhhh…Light, we should, uh, stop…" But I didn't stop and neither did he as I turned him around and pushed him towards the shower floor. He turned up the water temperature and then I set to work on making sure I wasn't about to cause us both too much pain by preparing him for my entry. I'd given in to my feelings for him and had committed to winning him over, and I was nothing if not thorough. But I hadn't expected it to feel this good; I hadn't known what I was getting myself into. Emotions were weaknesses, but this didn't feel like one despite a small voice in my head telling me it was. I loved how he writhed beneath me; I loved how I could cast that stoic mask aside and force those emotions to play on his features. I loved how he screamed my name. I loved him. It wasn't something I intended him on finding out, that would give him power over me, but it was true nonetheless.

We were twenty minutes late to work. It didn't bother me too much, since it was a pretty rare event, and I ignored the curious glances cast our way as I sat at my station and continued working on the pie charts I had been making. He'd been my first kiss that had meant something to me, and the first person I'd ever made love to. I was thankful to the internet sources referring to homosexual intercourse that I'd looked up after he'd had that very telling dream about me. When I'd first begun working with the eccentric man the last thing I'd expected was to fall into bed with him, but I wasn't unhappy about it in the slightest. I vaguely wondered why Watari hadn't brought down the usual tray of sweets but remembered he might still be doing whatever it was Ryuuzaki had him out doing. The man's voice jerked me from my thoughts, "Oh, Matsuda-san," he said and I watched the policeman jump. "My cell-phone is under your desk, please hand it to me."

I felt my face flush and I turned it back to my own monitor as I recalled how it had gotten under the desk. "But why was it-" Matsuda began to ask.

Ryuuzaki interrupted him "Because I threw it there last night," and he opened the phone, pressing a few buttons as well. Maybe he was going to call Watari and ask him where his sweets were, I vaguely wondered, and watched him out of the corner of my eye. I didn't think anyone else would notice the infinitesimal widening of his eyes as he pressed another button on the phone before he bit his lower lip and I realized I had stood up at some point. I placed a hand on his shoulder to get his attention and he moved closer to me, face becoming impassive once more despite the fact that I was getting better at reading it. "Who is this?" he asked, and time seemed to move very slowly, so slowly he even checked the phone to make sure he was still connected with the person, a rare sign of nerves. I didn't know what was going on or who he was talking to, and I wondered at the fact that he didn't seem to know, either. I snuck a glance at the screen of the phone and saw 'W' on it and had the feeling he'd called Watari and gotten someone else, instead. "I seem to be at a disadvantage. You know who I am, but I have no idea who you are."

For several moments Ryuuzaki was absolutely still and he stuck his free hand in his pocket. I debated giving him a bit of space when I realized the others were looking at us oddly, but he flipped the phone shut and turned around slowly to face the room again. He opened his mouth to speak and I fully expected things to return to normal upon his explanation, but he shut his mouth again and my hand tightened almost imperceptibly on his shoulder. What the Hell was going on? "Watari," he finally said, "Has been kidnapped." Everyone began talking at once but I ignored then and focused on L. The world narrowed to myself and him, it was the only way to actually comprehend his facial expressions most of the time, and I could tell he was angry…and probably at himself, and possibly at me, as well. I was wondering if I needed to be doing anything and he said, "Light-kun…can you cancel your date with Misa-chan tonight? I – I could really use your help on this."

I nodded and pulled out my cell phone. For him to admit aloud he wanted my help was big, and on a more personal note it told me he wasn't mad at me. I dialed Misa who, unfortunately, was on my speed-dial (something she herself had set up). "Light!" she practically screamed into the phone, "I was just dreaming of you! I can't wait to see you tonight, I know we're going to have so much fun…I wonder if we can get Ryuuzaki to leave us alone for a bit I mean it's so unfair how he's always _around_, it's actually kind of _creepy_. He's such a pervert always wanting to _watch_ us," I let her prattle on and was sorely tempted to tell her just what he and I had done, but it was none of her business and it would crush her, not to mention we still needed to watch her in case she had been Second Kira.

"Listen, Misa," I said and she quieted as if waiting with bated breath for my words. "I'm really sorry but something has come up at Headquarters that needs my attention tonight. Yes, I know we don't get to see each other very often, but I really need to help in this investigation."

She began whining and I was about to interrupt when she said, "I'm beginning to think you like him more than you like me with all the time you spend there. Honestly, you should be sick of him by now and-"

"Misa, shut up!" I needed to be cautious, wary, and I added, "You're my girlfriend…and once these cases are over we can spend more time together." It was a lie but it was the best I could do at the moment. Besides, any break-up had to be done in person. "We'll make this up another day, alright? I have to go and I'll call you later to reschedule." I hung up the phone and caught Ryuuzaki's eye and nodded again. It was done, and I was glad I wouldn't have to see The Annoying One, but she'd been too perceptive.

"Matsuda-san," the detective said, and I realized that while I'd been dealing with Misa some decision had been reached. I wasn't going to ask, I had enough confidence in my own intelligence to figure it out on my own. "I will put you in charge of that." I really didn't think he would put Matsuda in charge of anything important. "Mogi-san, will you please retrace Watari's steps from the last few days? I can provide you with where his intended location had been."

I wasn't surprised when my father, the Chief of police, stepped up to take control of the situation. I had pretty much expected it to happen, and I expected not to like his line of questioning. He was a good police officer, thorough, and I didn't think he would start slacking now. "Ryuuzaki-kun," he said, and I tried to keep my own expression as blank as the detective's. "When was the last time you spoke to him?"

Shit, shit shit shit shit. The logical part of me knew Ryuuzaki most likely wouldn't tell my father the truth, but the detective did things his way most times without regard for other people. To my relief he merely said, "Last night."

Again, everyone tried to talk at once and my father's voice rang out above them all and he asked more questions. To my surprise Ryuuzaki was…_rambling_ in his own response. That alone told me he didn't want the others to know just as much as I didn't. I was still his prime suspect, not to mention I knew my father's reaction would be…volatile. I watched as he slid a red jolly-rancher into his mouth as my father asked yet more questions and had to look away again, my face flushing slightly as I recalled the brief moments _I_ had been in his mouth the night before. Red: the color of passion and love but also destruction and blood. I was trying very hard not to give anything away in my expression and to keep from watching his every move and then I heard, "Yagami-san, I need to converse with Light-kun for a moment. Please excuse us." And then he was more or less pushing me out of the room, much to my (and everyone else's) surprise.

It was suspicious and I wondered if he even realized that a stunt like this could raise their suspicions as to the nature of our relationship, anyway, but he probably hadn't thought about that. We went through several hallways and up a flight of stairs and I wondered when we would ever stop. The longer we were away the more suspicious the others would become and I turned and wrapped my arms around him in hopes it would stop this pointless walking. It did and he clung to me and a moment later we were kissing. When we finally stopped he said, "Light…I need to find Watari."

I took a step away from him. If that was what he'd dragged me out here for it wasn't anything I already didn't know. "I know. And we will. I'll help you in any way I can." He nodded but didn't quite meet my eyes and I waited for the other shoe to drop, "What's wrong?"

"I don't think I should lie to your father about, well…it's always best to tell the police the truth in kidnapping cases." I could tell he was serious, Watari meant enough to him he didn't want to take any risks…and he wanted the others involved because he thought they could help us. I felt my face lose its color as I realized my father was among them, and he wasn't a man known for his tolerance. He still had some very old ideas about right and wrong. "Any slight detail over-looked could be that crucial piece to turn the tide. Light…my conversation with Watari was recorded. Only Watari and I know of this, but I need to listen to it to find out what he said to me last night." He smirked and I felt color slowly returning to my cheeks as I gave a wry smile back, "I wasn't exactly paying attention." I pulled him into another hug and realized I needed the comfort, too, considering what might have to happen next. So they'd recorded their conversation, and there was something about the fact wasn't all surprising despite being a bit of a shock at first. "I need that tape."

Finally I said, "I know, I don't like this much, I probably wouldn't mind as much if it weren't my _father_, but…" He nodded and held my hand as we walked at a more sedate pace back towards the main office. "What's going to happen if the truth comes out?"

He said what was probably the one thing I least expected him to, and it was also the one thing that unnerved me the most: "I don't know."

**

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A//N**;;

YEAH ok I hope this goes up sometime soon.


	11. Tortured Moonlight::Chapter Eleven

**A//N**

**UnratedCrimsonBlood, forbalathegreen, Liscute00, glostarz, Rai Vinn, Racharae, vampgirl09, Shadow Dancer666** all left kind reviews!!! thank you! ANYWAY I do suggest reading Twisted Midnight to anyone who isn't/hasn't. While not necessary, I'm more comfortable in L's head and it might be easier to understand. Thanks to Nitrous for the correction in Twisted Midnight, it has been fixed.

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Chapter Eleven:

The room was awkwardly silent as we stepped back in, silent enough to hear a pin drop and it was because of us. "Yagami-san," Ryuuzaki said and I placed one hand on his arm. Why? For comfort. There was comfort in the human touch for both people involved, and humans tended to seek out touch whether they realized it or not. But apparently he didn't want to be comforted and he pushed me away, "Stop!" I stuffed my hands into my pockets as they curled into fists due to anxiety. His attitude was _not_ helping the situation at all. Finally, L resumed his speech after what felt a long time but was only a few seconds. "Yagami-san, I don't recall the conversation." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, I doubted that sentence would go over well and I almost winced when he said, "Please don't ask me why." Yeah, right, my father wasn't chief for no reason. In fact, I could see a vein twitching near my father's eye at Ryuuzaki's audacity. "The phone call was recorded, I'm going to listen to it and therefore be able to tell you what it was that-"

He didn't get to finish his sentence. My father stood up and interrupted him, not something that happened very often, and I could tell he wasn't happy with what the lanky detective was saying. "I'll go with you," and his face was resolved. I bit my tongue to keep from interrupting, beginning to sweat at my temples and the back of my neck. "I think I should hear this tape." _No, no, no…please, no_ I thought, knowing my plea was in vain. "In fact, it might help if everyone-"

The next voice that spoke was mine, I couldn't help it. The thought of everyone in the room hearing what was on the tape caused the slight sweat to begin to pour, metaphorically speaking. "Dad!" Alright, I had their attention now, and had no idea what I would say to persuade them otherwise. I knew that I wouldn't be able to get him to agree not to listen, but he might agree that the others didn't need to hear it – least of all when I had to hear it at the same time. I had the best grades in Japan, a perfect vocabulary – an extensive lexicon, but I was at a loss for words. "I mean, well, not _everyone_ has to hear it if…" if what? "Ryuuzaki-kun doesn't want them to." Formality would hopefully serve me well as I sought for a better way to get him to listen to me, appeal to him as a son would to a father. "I suppose…I mean, if he doesn't want-" I knew the attempt was lame even before he interrupted, but by adding in a desperate note to my voice I hoped he would have mercy.

Instead, he seemed to have gone straight to suspicious. "Is there something you're not telling me?" I took a step away from him and couldn't quite meet his eyes. My father had certain prejudices, it was how he was raised and the things his parents had believed. He was his parent's son in that he held certain beliefs to be truth, and one truth was that to be gay brought the family dishonor. I didn't know how to answer him, because the correct answer was yes. I was just working up the nerve to explain that Ryuuzaki liked his privacy in these matters when the great mouse-like detective himself spoke once more, and I felt less useful than Toby the dog.

"Perhaps," both my father and I looked at him, I hopeful and my father just this side of exasperated. "Yagami-san…you could listen to the tape with me and then determine if you…_want_ the others to hear it." I blinked in surprise, having fully expected him to be able to persuade my father to not listen to the tape, and I glared resentfully at the lollipop and looked away, my mind flashing back to him sucking on something _else_ the night before. This was going to be a long day. But my father didn't disagree, and I had a feeling he wouldn't have trusted Ryuuzaki's information if he could not listen himself. The control room was filled with whirring and buzzing computers and monitors displaying almost every inch of the tower that we ignored as Ryuuzaki (and I be default) retrieved the tape before continuing to a floor thatr wasn't being used. It was one of the lounges designed for someone to stay in, much like the apartment in the tower Matsuda was staying in, and we sat around the table as Ryuuzaki turned on the lights.

I didn't move, unwilling to be the one to put the tape in and press play. My father also seemed hesitant, but that was probably because he thought of the tape as Ryuuzaki's property and as his business to put it in the recorder. When the man currently sitting in the fetal position did put the tape in, it was his voice through the static of the tape. **Hello, Watari**. So far so good, I just knew it would get worse.

**Ryuuzaki**, I heard, and also noticed the tense timbre of his voice and guilt ate at me for being the cause of Ryuuzaki's distraction. Then again, it wasn't like he'd said _stop_. **It seems that **–

**Uhh…nnng, W-Watari c-can we talk l-later?** I could feel sweat dripping down my back now and placed my hands on my legs, staring down at the table and avoiding looking at anyone or at the tape player revealing something I'd rather have stayed secret for a while longer.

**I really must insist it be now, Ryuuzaki**. Of course, it had been urgent, and once again I was feeling quite guilty. **Are you alright? Is there something wrong?** If circumstances had been lighter I would have laughed, I'd been doing everything I could to make sure that nothing was wrong.

At the sound of Ryuuzaki's voice I could feel myself getting aroused at both the audio and the memory of what had been happening, **Uhhmmm n-no I'm fiiiiiine**. I looked over at my father and his face was red enough to boil eggs on. It didn't help that Ryuuzaki's breathing only got heavier on the recording, and it was obvious even through the static that the usually stoic man was out of breath.

**Very well. Ryuuzaki, it would appear that Tailor was in a group that consisted of several people. All people who had lost loved ones because you had put them in jail, all people who's loved ones had wound up on Death Row**. Well, that _was_ important and I risked a glance at the man always to my left. He was sitting in a ball, arms around his legs and the only reason I knew he was shaking slightly was because the chain shook noiselessly, but I felt it.

I could feel my left eye beginning to twitch much like my father's had earlier as there was a stifled moan from Ryuuzaki's recorded voice as the real Ryuuzaki's face flushed and I turned away, needing to look anywhere but at him. **Watari I…repeat that, please?** With more patience than I would have had, he began to repeat it but got cut off again. **On second thought**, but I knew why that sentence never got completed and I could tell my father was suspicious by the way he was glaring at me. If looks could kill, I'd be in Hell. I focused my own gaze on the tape player, wishing it would just spontaneously combust. **No!**

**Ryuuzaki, do you want this report or not?** Finally Watari sounded human, angry, annoyed and I couldn't blame him. It was almost over, if I could just sit through the rest of the tape it would be fine, but Ryuuzaki's voice cur through once again.

**No…not you, Watari…mmm, I, er…L-Light!** My father's eyes were narrowed and his lips were thinner then I ever recalled seeing them in the past and my own hands clenched the fabric of my dress pants as I didn't dare look away from the way my father finally realized just what had been going on; that his suspicions had been correct. My heart was hammering in my chest like it wanted out, and I sort of agreed with it – if Kira wanted to kill me in that moment I'd have let him. This was really, really bad. Not only were Ryuuzaki and I both male, something my father would never forgive, but I was his prime suspect in the Kira investigation and Soichiro Yagami hated when an officer blurred the lines between acceptable and wrong. This was unacceptable. **I'll call you, nrrrg, later…**

I looked up when the tape clicked off, but the whole device was on the floor and my father was lunging for…Ryuuzaki? I had a brief moment of wondering why he wasn't attacking me and then he spoke. "What the _Hell_ was that?!?" and suddenly I understood. Apparently, he thought this was all Ryuuzaki's fault. Perhaps it had been some sort of interrogation method to gain my trust so I would confess to being Kira. Or perhaps having me in that was had been Ryuuzaki's intention all along and that was the sole reason for the handcuffs, therefore making him my only available option if I wanted to be with someone. His thoughts were as predictable as clockwork, and they made me sick to my stomach. How _dare_ he lay his prejudiced hands on _my_ Ryuuzaki? I didn't stop to think of what it meant that I had referred to him as _mine_, if only in my head, as my fist flew out and connected with Soichiro's jaw. "You!" he growled, looking at me. "Why you little…you're dead! I will _not_ let you make a mockery of me!"

We stood, just glaring at each other, and I mentally prepared for a fight. I was also switching how I thought about him as he went from 'Dad' to 'Soichiro' in my head. I really must have been in love with the spoiled brat if I were willing to go this far for him. But I'd think about that later as I heard his voice, "Yagami-san!" I kept my eyes trained, not wanting to be the first to attack, and when he did nothing I could feel my muscles shaking from holding one position for too long. Suddenly, my line of sight was blocked as Ryuuzaki stepped between us and spoke once more, "I'm fairly certain that we were up here trying to find out what happened to Watari. This" he gestured towards us and I relaxed a bit as I realized he was standing to his full height, "Is unproductive to our cause."

I didn't sit until Soichiro and Ryuuzaki were both sitting and when I finally did it was with a wary eye. I didn't trust him not to attack Ryuuzaki again. No, that wasn't it. I didn't thin khe would but at the same time I wouldn't have put it past him. I briefly wondered what he would say if he'd known I was the one who'd started it, but I didn't have much time to finish the thought as Soichiro finally spoke, "I have to show this to them, the others…if we're all supposed to be working as a team then we all should be on equal ground. We all need to know what each other knows to be effective." It was exactly what I didn't want to hear, and exactly what he hadn't wanted to say, and I wanted nothing more than to ask him not to. But it wouldn't work; it wouldn't matter, because he'd do what he had to as Chief of police. I knew this better than anyone.

"I see. Very well, please do what you think is necessary, Yagami-san. Watari is very special to me and I need him to survive. I will do my utmost to share any information that may be relevant to finding him," I risked a glance in Ryuuzaki's direction, noticing the slightest change in facial expression. We _would_ get Watari back, we had to.

"I'm going to call the others into a meeting. I don't want either of you in the room, understood?" The dreaded words had finally arrived.

I swallowed visibly and said, under my breath, "Understood," even though it was the last thing I wanted to say. There was a feeling of vulnerability in having that tape as some sort of evidence. But I couldn't, wouldn't, sit and dwell on it. I needed a distraction and after my father left I led Ryuuzaki towards the room we shared and we lay on the bed. Waiting was definitely the worst part, I decided, especially since I didn't know how the others would treat us after they listened to that tape. But it was out of my hands and there was nothing I could do at this point. I took solace in the closeness and warmth of Ryuuzaki, touching him – part of me still wasn't sure I was allowed to. When my cell phone rang I answered on the second ring, holding my breath. "Light, will you and Ryuuzaki please come down?"

Without saying good-bye Ryuuzaki and I exchanged a look before I said, "They…they're requesting us to go down." He nodded in understanding and got off the bed, and immediately I wanted nothing more then to be petulant and drag him back. I wanted to stay cuddled up to him and not face them. But I followed, because we couldn't afford to do that. I clung to his hand like a child. When we were finally in front of the door I somberly let go before going into the room. They were all sitting around the tape-player which, naturally, made me nervous. I felt a trickle of sweat once more on the back of my neck as Ryuuzaki took a seat in his usual fashion and I decided silence had gone on long enough. When I spoke my voice didn't crack, for which I was rather proud, "Right, so…you called?"

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**A/N**

I might go back and edit this later...... Just letting you know.


	12. Tortured Moonlight::Chapter Twelve

**Author's Notes**;;

Alright, so I have an idea for a sequel to Tainted Starlight...but I'm worried because I don't want to ruin TS. I was originally planning on not writing a sequel, unless it would be based on the lives of the twins, but I've got an idea for an actual sequel starring our favorite detective and an ex-murderer. I'm going to make a poll, so please let me know.

So I think I've fixed the Blue Screen of Death problem my computer has been giving me lately, well, fixed it for now anyway. I should really back all my data up, buy an external hard drive, just in case, but…I'm lazy and saving my money for Otakon and other expenses.

ALSO!!! I have put a link to my FictionPress acct on my profile. So, for my original work please go there.

OK. Another note. I _do_ have an idea for a sequel to Tainted Starlight starring your favorite eccentric detective and exploring his roots. I'm going to start a poll. Please vote on whether you think I should write it or not.

GreatCheezyPoofGirl: I MISSED YOU!!! -clings to leg- xD  
Faerylark: No, it most certainly wasn't. LOL.  
forbalathegreen: Sorry for the delayyy :(  
UnratedCrimsonBlood: More paranoid because it's his son. he over-reacts when it comes to his family. :)  
Divanora: yeeeeaaaaahhhhh. It was hard to write. lol.

**SORRY FOR THE DOUBLE POST. fixed typos and the poll is actually on my page now. sorry it wasn't there before please go vote!!!**

* * *

Chapter Twelve:

Being ignored by my father was a lot better than the alternative: being glared at and having him scorn me openly. But it still stung. I could tell Ryuuzaki was feeling stressed, and tracking Watari was something that we were working endlessly towards but so far nothing had come up aside from dead-end leads. Well, we'd check them out anyway, that hadn't even needed to be discussed. And I knew we'd be up all night, no, getting as little sleep as possible until we found Watari. We had the phone lines set up in such a way that Aizawa would be able to listen in from the police station, and we were making slow but steady progress. It was late, only Ryuuzaki, Matsuda, Soichiro and myself were left, and then my father asked to speak to me privately.

"He's still my prime suspect in the Kira case, Yagami-san." I turned and stared at Ryuuzaki, resisting the urge to laugh as I knew _exactly_ what my father was going to say – and he'd have every right to say it. And I wasn't disappointed.

"I think, Ryuuzaki, that perhaps your judgment has been impaired." That had been it, and I felt myself getting angry once more. I was exhausted, mentally and physically, and just plain tired of the bullshit. Then again, with anyone else, I was sure their case would be compromised if they had an affair with their suspect. Once more I wondered if this was all some sort of farce, a plan to make me confess to being someone I wasn't, and then Soichiro was speaking once again. "Or perhaps you forced him to, what, fool around with you by promising to clear his name? You _do_ have a tendency to use people!" He pointed accusingly at me, "_What did you do to my son?_" I looked quickly at Ryuuzaki, noting his usual stoic demeanor, and I wondered how he could remain so calm when my own blood was boiling.

"He didn't _do_ anything to me, Dad!" I mentally flinched at having addressed him as Dad, not Soichiro, but it was past. It was habitual, I supposed. "And stop pointing – it's rude." I glared at him, willing and daring him to deny it, but he didn't and I pressed on. "He didn't promise me anything! In fact…" I took a step closer to Soichiro Yagami, "If anyone did anything to instigate last night it was _me_." Consider the bomb dropped, I thought, crossing my arms defiantly and letting him know I didn't want to persue this line of talk any further.

He moved closer to me, closing the distance further and I somewhat regretted having moved toward him before, "I will not tolerate that in my family or in my house."

I was proud of myself, I didn't flinch or wince at his bold statement. I wondered, if he couldn't accept this, if he would disown me? I couldn't let him see that his words stung, my family had always mattered to me, but I glanced at the man I loved and…I wanted him to be family, too. I forced a smirk as my eyes narrowed further, "Good thing I'm not living at home then." I watched as he debated hitting me before he stormed out, and I noticed Matsuda wasn't anywhere near and was relieved for that small blessing.

"Light-kun," I heard from him, his voice as demanding as ever. "Why did you do that?" I sat down, debating how to answer him without either freaking him out, scaring him away or having him laugh at me. "Why did you say those things? He is your father, do you" I froze, holding my breath as I waited for him to finish the question, but his thoughts seemed to turn inward and away from me as scenarios and excuses ran through my mind. Should I just push it off as being a teenager? Most teens got into fights with their folks, especially over matters of the heart or what they felt was right and wrong. No, that wouldn't be good enough, I hardly ever lost my cool – and I had lost it there, and lost it very badly. "Ryuuzaki…my father should accept me for who I am, not who I am with."

It was silent for a little bit longer to the point where I wondered if he'd even heard what I'd said. I'd implied we were together, which may or may not have been true in some definitions of the phrase, and I wondered if we were together in the way I wanted us to be. Which brought me to wondering how I _did_ want us to be, and I didn't like the answer. I didn't like that I wanted him to be mine completely, because I doubted he felt anything remotely similar for me as how I felt for him. It would also make life a lot more difficult if we remained together. At first, this could have been a fling – momentary lapses in judgement, or perhaps just experimenting and trying to have fun. But now emotions and feelings, at least on my end (it was difficult to tell with him) were mixed in, and it felt like the walls were closing in around us where a decision would have to be made eventually. I felt incredibly vulnerable.

Thankfully, Matsuda chose that moment to re-enter with cake, which I noticed Ryuuzaki didn't really eat, which was weird. He was more worried about Watari thane even I had realized, if he wasn't eating cake.

Around five-thirty in the morning, Mogi made his return from the investigation Ryuuzaki had sent him out on, and he more or less lumbered off to a spare bedroom to get some sleep. In a tower built to accommodate sixty people comfortably, it was still a bit of a disappointment that our force hadn't grown in number. Obviously, Ryuuzaki had anticipated more joining us, but so far it hadn't happened. Aizawa showed up on time, thankfully, because Ryuuzaki was likely to explode if one thing went wrong. And then we got another call from the kidnappers.

Ryuuzaki set up the transmitter and voice converter before speaking, and this time I kept my distance, not wanting to draw further attention to our relationship with the others watching so intently, probably waiting for such a thing as that. "Hello?"

The voice on the other end was loud, and it helped that Ryuuzaki had put the volume on max. It was easy to hear every word spoken. "Ah, L. I assume I am speaking to L. Take off the voice converter or I will kill him." I resisted the urge to comfort him as I noticed a faintest tremble before he was unreadable once more.

"Not until I know he is safe. I want to hear his voice, I want from his lips he is for the most part unharmed." The standard, and practical, thing to ask. Proof of living, typical in most kidnapping cases - necessary.

When Watari's voice sounded on the phone it was faint, be he seemed to be defiant of his kidnappers, which meant they hadn't yet broken him. "Don't give them anything! Don't do what they want. Just-" there was a loud thud and it didn't sound promising for Watari, then yelling from the kidnapper.

"Did I _say_ you could say that? I _said_ to tell him you were fine! You idiot! Do you _want_ to die here?" A short silence followed, and then, "Now, you've heard his voice and aside from a bleeding lip he is fine."

I was probably the only one who noticed, but he hesitated. I could help him with this. I took the phone from him and, when he nodded, opened up notepad on one of the computers and indicated he should type as I switched the speaker to 'on.' "Very well," I said with a confidence I didn't quite feel. We would get Watari back, we wouldn't fail. "Here I am." It didn't take too long to negotiate with them, speaking what Ryuuzaki typed and arranging the when and where to meet. It was good, just in case, that we _did_ have the money.

"Remember how you asked me to constantly scan for his cell-phone, Ryuuzaki?" I asked after walking back over to my computer. I put his phone on the desk and Matsuda's phone rang. I was excited, I'd gotten a signal from the lost phone and, from the coordinates Aizawa had given Matsuda, they matched the ones I'd gotten. After asking Aizawa a few more questions, Ryuuzaki finally hung up and returned Matsuda's phone to him. And I wanted to hug him, kiss him, and tell him everything would be alright. I didn't, couldn't, with everyone watching. I was in deep and I didn't even know how he felt about me, not really. I watched as he pulled up a satellite image of the area and was somewhat surprised at how close they were to us. Maybe they really did know where we were and I felt sort of bad that I might be partially responsible for having moved to a permanent building. We'd been in danger for having staying in one place too long, something Ryuuzaki, to my knowledge, had never done before on a case.

The smile on his face was a bit of a relief, and I was surprised when he called a break. We'd reached a milestone; I could feel it when we pinpointed their location. Now we just needed to come up with a plan. I was tired, exhausted, over-worked and had stayed up all night. And I could tell he was about to suggest I get some rest. "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. We can rest when we've found Watari." There, hopefully he'd leave it alone. I would rest when Watari was safe, same as him. Besides, he needed me awake more than he needed me as dead weight.


	13. Tortured Moonlight::Chapter Thirteen

**Author's Note**;;

Whoah, I _really_ like how this chapter came out.

****Mature Content Warning****

Chapter Thirteen:

L had been telling his plan to the others, something that I mostly knew already. We'd discussed our options and figured out the best course of action, and now he was filling in the others. I put a hand on his shoulder to let him know I would back whatever decision he made, and his hand found mine briefly before he started talking again and I lowered my hand. Some of the Team couldn't quite hide their reactions. Mogi, though, was his usual stoic self while Aizawa seemed to get ticked. Matsuda, though, smiled. It figured Matsuda was a hopeless romantic. Soichiro wasn't there.

"As you can see there are two visible entrances to the building. However," I didn't watch since I already knew the plan, "I highly suspect this tunnel might run directly into the warehouse as well." I played my part, hacking into the city's database and displaying the plans on the screen.

I heard Aizawa clear his throat and ask, "Uhhh…are all the city plans just…open to the public's perusal like this?" I smiled as I heard Ryuuzaki chuckle, and then Aizawa wisely added "I'm going to pretend this never happened…"

I zoned out, listening once again when I heard my own name mentioned. "Light, Matsuda-san and I." Ah, right, he was still explaining our entrance. "Mogi-san and Aizawa-san will be sitting in this parking lot until I give the command." I looked at his demonstration and at him, trying to read him. "And Yagami-san…" I stiffened at the mention of my father and met Ryuuzaki's eyes momentarily. "Well I suppose it depends if he's willing to help us or not." And that, in my opinion, was a big if. Soichiro Yagami was one to fight for things he believed in and had a very strong sense of justice, but I didn't know if his prejudice would be enough to keep him from helping.

"He'll help." I heard and looked at Matsuda, the source of the voice. "I, well, I mean…he told me to tell him _every_thing that was said in here." I let out a soft sigh and turned back to Ryuuzaki, watching as he continued his explanation.

I stopped paying attention again, Ryuuzaki's plan much like background noise as I watched his pointing at the diagram. One was necessary for me, not both, and I'd already gotten the gist. Soichiro would help. Well, at least he wasn't planning on letting bias get in the way. His feelings toward Ryuuzaki wouldn't interfere with helping to save Watari. And he wouldn't let _my_ feelings for Ryuuzaki bias him, either, and I had to appreciate that. "We will set up a set of code words and signals." I took one of the walkie-talkies and turned it to the specified channel, a small smile curling on my lips at his last words before the meeting was dismissed. _Damn…I'm in love_, I had time to think before he was walking and pulling on the chain whether he meant to or not.

I let him pull me towards the kitchen and watched, slightly amused, as he began to make tea for lack of anything better to do. Well, I could think of a few things that were more fun than making tea as he finished adding the herbs and pulled out a lollipop. He looked so forlorn as I went up to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my chin on his shoulder. But he turned, facing me and putting a few inches between us with the motion. As his eyes met mine I wondered why he had pulled away from me, sighing, and I felt much like a parent would when attempting to speak to a scared child. "What's wrong?"

"I – I don't know. Light-kun," he said, shaking his head slowly and I felt my heart stop. "You make me forget myself; you make me _feel_." I was definitely confused. Wasn't that the point? _He_ certainly made _me_ feel, and at the moment I was scared, especially having just come to the conclusion I had. "But…I can never forget, not even for a second, that you might be Kira…" My heart fell into my stomach and I swallowed past the lump in my throat. I'd tried, right? Tried and failed, and I didn't know if it was worth it. It all came back to Kira, and him believing I was Kira. Then he was speaking again and I tried not to let it show on my face that I was hanging on every word. "And I _did_ forget, Light-kun." I breathed in quickly, relieved. Maybe, just maybe, I was convincing him of my innocence. He rattled the chain between us and I doubted it, but if I could make him forget then perhaps we really _could_ focus on finding the real Kira. And I could never tell him how I felt, not until everything with Kira had been resolved. I felt him pull me towards him and my lips met his. He'd initiated the kiss, so perhaps he wasn't too mad about forgetting. I didn't mind the chain anymore, and part of me didn't want it removed. Then again, I doubted I'd leave even if it were – I'd just have more freedom. I kissed him back as gently as he kissed me, like the gradual appearance of a rainbow after a bad storm. "I hate Kira…" he said, and I agreed.

I pulled him into a hug and said, "I hate him too, why do you think we're trying so damned hard to catch him, Ryuuzaki?" He huddled closer to me and I wondered what he was thinking, feeling. But knowing him as I did, I didn't ask and just enjoyed the moment, enjoyed the feel of him pressed against me. But the moment didn't last long and I heard the sound of someone clearing their throat. We both looked and Matsuda and my dad were both standing in the doorway. (Since he was halping to save Watari he was back to being 'Dad.')

Matsuda looked like he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. He supported us, that much was obvious so far, but he also wanted everyone to get along. He was being Switzerland, neutral territory, and in doing so he didn't wuite know which emotion to show so his face betrayed his inner turmoil. But if Matsuda looked uncomfortable, my father looked more so. As Ryuuzaki and I parted he came closer, and finally when we were as far apart as possible he spoke. Honestly, I knew he wouldn't have been acting that way if Ryuuzaki had been female. He addressed the older detective first, to my chagrin, and it was all business. "Ryuuzaki-kun, Light-kun, Matsuda-san has informed me of your plan. I will cooperate with you in this," and then he looked at me. I held my ground and looked right back, "but only for the sake of getting Watari back." There was a pause as he visibly struggled to find the right words, words that would least piss me off, "As for…afterwards, I cannot give up on the chase for Kira." And then he was talking about our argument earlier, "I didn't mean it…what I said before. This just isn't easy to accept, and to have it thrust upon me this way…"

I didn't know what to say. That his reaction had been hurtful would be a bit of an understatement. He shouldn't have said it, and yet I'd known he would. "Yagami-san…" I heard and looked to my left, surprised Ryuuzaki had taken the initiative. Then again, it was his team, in a way. "Are you angry Light-kun did not tell you himself? Are you angry that, perhaps, Light-kun hadn't trusted you enough? Or merely told you, warned you, before you had listened to the tape?"

His gaze shifted to him and I was siddenly nervous about what he would say, "Ryuuzaki-kun. Your…relationship with my son isn't something I approve of. There are a number of reasons, least of all being age and one of them being gender, and then there is the fact that you _still_ suspect him of being Kira. I don't understand what it is between you two and I don't want to, but it is Light's life if he wants to condemn himself to a life in Hell." I gulped, well, he wasn't screaming or losing his temper. Then he turned to face me again, "You're still my son…and whether I like it or not I'm stuck with you." Stuck with me he was, and I with him, and he turned and left. Matsuda flashed us the thumbs up before vanishing himself. _Well, that was abrupt_, I thought as I met Ryuuzaki's eyes.

"Well," he said, and I shook my head, coming back to the present. "_That_ was unexpected." I refrained from chuckling as he said almost exactly what I'd been thinking and watched as he turned off the pot and poured it into a container and stuck it in the fridge. So we weren't even drinking it after all that? Typical of him, but at least we'd have Iced Tea for the next day. I followed him back to our room, wondering at the predicament I was in. Suspect and lover, in love with his captor who was trying to get him executed. If he knew, would it change things? I couldn't take the risk, no, wouldn't. Ironic that he had been the one hesitating and refusing to take risks at first and, even if he were still holding back, now I couldn't cross that bridge – I just hoped I didn't burn it due to neglect. Nightly ritual complete and us not wearing much, I turned to see him staring at me strangely. "Light-kun…" he said softly, pushing me backwards. "I want to be on top tonight."

I chuckled, well that had been unexpected, but at least we weren't on serious issues any longer. I couldn't lie to myself about being in love, but I could not think about it for a while. I fell against the bed, knees buckling as they hit the edge of the mattress, and I asked, "Do you now?" I slid my hands up his legs, letting them rest on his hips.

He only nodded and kissed my cheek, pushing my buttons whether he knew it or not, "Yes, I want to try it. Since apparently we're on this path of succulence, splendor and scandal that according to your father leads to Hell, I might as well experience _all_ of it, right, Light-kun?" _Oh God,_ I thought as he licked my neck, a soft purr in my hear and I knew any resolve I'd had to say no was gone. I nodded, tilting my head back as I felt my boxers become tighter. But I didn't have to worry about that long as soon I was on my back and the fabric was gone.

I looked down to see him lower his mouth but that didn't prepare me for the sensations being his side that hot, wet mouth could cause. I couldn't believe it as he took me in all the way, and I didn't think, I just let him do what he wanted. Vaguely I was aware I was close and was about to tell him so, but he seemed to notice and pulled away completely. Then came the part I was more hesitant about, but I followed his instruction as I usually did and sucked on his fingers. I smirked as I did so, knowing this was partly about revenge for him. But it felt strange to have his fingers inside of me, stretching me awkwardly and then before too long he was done with that part. It hurt, it definitely hurt, as he maneuvered himself in; his most intimate part inside of me. And then he hit my prostate and I let out a moan that was part pain and part pleasure. But I wouldn't have reached orgasm if he hadn't been stroking me. If he liked this, then maybe I'd let him top once in a while…on special occasions. But I really, _really_, didn't enjoy it as much as I did when I'd been on top.

Stars exploded behind my eyes as I came over his hand, spilling onto both our stomachs and I felt his own release inside of me. Sticky and hot, I felt like I needed a shower. He collapsed, his weight landing on me so I shifted so I could hold him, debating suggesting a shower. But he looked peaceful, happy, and it was a moment I didn't want to ruin. Things seemed to have come together. When push came to shove, and it was just us, we were together and that was what mattered. We'd taken care of more pressing issues like finding out Watari's location, and even my father seemed to not hate me as much anymore. And we were happy. Despite the difficulties we would face, I was happy with him – and I was pretty sure he was happy with me. If only happiness could last.

After a few minutes I noticed he was sleeping and I shifted gently, laying him on his side so he was no longer inside of me as I shuddered, pondering the ramifications of that. Realizing a shower was now impossible until morning, I sighed and stretched out. He shifted, one arm curling around my waist as his head came to rest on my chest and I looked down in curiosity: still sound asleep. Before joinin him in slumber I kissed him gently on the forehead and whispered "I love you."


	14. Tortured Moonlight::Chapter Fourteen

**Author's note**;;

**GreatCheezyPoofGirl**;; LOL you are loved. and yea lol, it was one of those things I'd known he'd said before ch 15 in TM but the readers didn't...and then in 15, well, you know... LOL But I won't say more so as not to ruin it for people that either haven't read TM or are reading this and that simultaneously.  
**glostarz**;; XDDDDDD both situations are great. And yeah, LxLight = L dominant in relationship, even whe nnot on top. XD  
**millenniumthief**;; Hello again!! XDD Thanks for the review :) and it's funny you say that because I keep feeling like I'm in foreign territory, Light's mind is alien to me...I think more like L and am more comfortable in his head so I'm like 'this sucks' with almost everything I write in TM2. LOL.  
**elany**;; Ha, well, it's up to you either way. Some people are reading them side by side. readhing ch1 of each before moving on. :) Thanks for the review!

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Chapter Fourteen:

I woke up on my side with him facing me and poking me incessantly. "Oy," he said and I turned around, ignoring him as I tried to put my back to him. The chain wrapped around me in an awkward way and I cursed under my breath, flipping onto my back. "You moved me."

"Yes," I said, glaring at him for stating the obvious and wanted to go back to sleep. I faced him once more, curling around him so my head was on his chest, and I got comfortable.

"Why?" I heard, and I let out my breath in a rush, trying not to lose my patience. "Light-kun…"

Groaning, I finally answered, "Because it was uncomfortable. You fell asleep quickly and I didn't think you'd mind." Damn, his questionable nature was endearing. I scowled, though, as he began poking me again. "What _now_, Ryuuzaki?" At least he hadn't heard what I'd said.

"Nevermind. I'll ask you later, go back to sleep. I know you want to." Rolling my eyes I did just that. Obviously whatever was bothering him could wait until it wasn't four in the morning.

I woke up again at a more reasonable hour and kissed him, letting him know I had a case of morning wood that I'd rather have him help me take care of, and he let me top again. Order was restored and we showered after making love, and then headed down to join the others. We were only a few minutes late, but my father was glaring at us like it bothered him. "Where were you two?" he asked briskly.

Ryuuzaki answered before I could, "Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to, Yagami-san." I barely suppressed a grin at his expression, and Matsuda laughed which made the mood in the room considerably lighter as I sat next to him. Well, he had a sense of humor, I'd give him that. We discussed our plan further, and I could tell that being patient wasn't something Ryuuzaki wanted to be. He wanted to go and get Watari, but waiting, we had decided, was our best option. One more day and then we could save him. It was before the decided exchange time, so we believed he'd still be alive tomorrow.

The next morning dawned like all the others, aside from the sense of alertness. I was fully aware of what we had to do, and I hoped we could pull it off. Ryuuzaki's plan was elaborate, to say the least, and complex at best. But failure wasn't an option when someone's life was at stake. When we neared the building, Ryuuzaki, Matsuda and I slipped into the sewers. I told Matsuda to be quiet as he let out a sound of disgust. We were wearing wetsuits and bullet-proof vests, it wasn't like we had to touch anything directly. Ryuuzaki had to blow up a wall that was blocking what should have been a corridor, and we headed down it once it was clear. Finally, we reached the wall to the basement of the warehouse they were hiding Watari in and Ryuuzaki peered through a small hole to check the room.

"Wait for my signal," Ryuuzaki said, gesturing for Matsuda and I to put on our face masks and goggles. "Alright, at eleven exactly we will synchronize our entrances. If _anyone_ is having a problem with this click the talk button in this sequence." He demonstrated the sequence before disconnecting. Time ticked by, and finally Ryuuzaki began placing the explosives around the wall and told everyone to get down. I did as instructed, not really feeling like getting impaled by anything else, and then the wall blew in a shower of clay and dust.

I tensed, waiting, and then, "Now!" We all got up, heading in with our goggles leading the say via infrared and I helped Ryuuzaki untie Watari from the wall. There was a shot fired above us and I flinched immediately, my shoulder itching and reminding me of how I'd been shot recently, and we told Matsuda to carry Watari back to Headquarters. We trusted him to do that, he'd be good for that job, and I followed Ryuuzaki up. As he took off his goggles, I removed mine. We were leaving the smoked area and about to enter a more lit area, the masks weren't necessary. He kicked down the door and it splintered as it opened, lock cracking along the frame. My father and the others were unhurt, and Aizawa's vest had kept him from taking the bullet.

There were several men on the floor and my father had another one bound. Ryuuzaki checked each of them and found more of the same sketch of himself, and I watched as he burned them. Now it was time for me to put on a show and test my acting ability. I took a deep breath, recalling what I was supposed to say, and headed over to the one remaining conscious thug. I really hadn't wanted to do this, it felt weird to be impersonating L, even if it were for the older man's safety.

And so it began, "Did you really think you would win against me?" My words were venomous, laced with all kinds of dark promises of what would happen to him for daring to defy L, and eventually I turned to my father and said, "Bring them in to jail, the ones that are alive, anyway. The rest can shack up at the morgue…I doubt they'll mind." I had to admit, that was my favorite line, and the thug was definitely now confused as to which of us were L since he recognized my voice.

"B-but…wait, if you're who, I mean to say, which…" He stuttered, blinking as he looked from me to Ryuuzaki, recognizing him from the sketch. The man on my left grinned and got really close to the guy.

"Deal with the fact for a moment that you have lost." He paused for dramatic effect, "Your uncertainty is indeed warranted." He turned to me as my father hauled the thug to his feet and pulled out his cell p hone, "Perhaps we ought to make ourselves scarce, I don't want to be here later." I nodded once and followed him back the way we'd come.

Aizawa stopped us for a moment, "Where's Watari?" Ryuuzaki pulled out a lollipop slowly as if debating how to answer.

"Safe," he said before turning and walking back towards Headquarters, me following close behind.

* * *

Sorry it was short


	15. Tortured Moonlight::Chapter Fifteen

**Author's Note**;;

**glostarz**;; XDDD  
**Emi-Chan**;; Thanks! Hope you like the rest of it. :)  
**Divanora**;; LMFAO. It's to make up for my lack of updates lately. I had a computer that kept dying on me and giving me the blue screen of death and other issues getting in the way, like the massive project I'm doing for Otakon. It's intense. XD And yeah, I like your reasoning. And the reason I ended TS the way I did was so I wouldn't be able to write a sequel, LOL. But people kept asking, and I kept saying 'no.' And then eventually I got an idea that could work for a sequel. And so, I like the idea...and I don't have the heart to have a sad ending. The reason people like TS as an ending is because it's happy, but honestly I don't have the motivation to give these two a sad ending...they'd been through so much already, hehe.  
**GreatcheezyPoofGirl**;; Well then, that was good timing.  
**Elany**;; Thanks, and your question shall be answered soon.  
**:)**;; Thanks!!!!!! I really appreciate your comments especially about staying true to character.

****Mature Content Warning****

Chapter Fifteen:

Ryuuzaki and I were in Watari's room, waiting for him to wake up. Matsuda had patched him up well and now it was just waiting. At least he hadn't needed a hospital, probably due to Matsuda's use of the first aid kit. It hadn't taken much to carry him to his room, which was worrisome since he was very light, but nothing a few good meals wouldn't fix. I heard a soft groan and then was pulled towards the bed as Ryuuzaki carried a glass of water toward the old man. "Ryuuzaki," he said, looking at his charge.

I had a moment of confusion before realizing Ryuuzaki had switched to English, "Watari, I…" he'd started, and after a few moments added, "I'm sorry." I'd heard him say that before, but I couldn't recall hearing him mean it.

"Ryuuzaki," Watari said, taking the other man's hand gently. It became harder for me to follow the English, one of the hardest languages, but I managed. "What happened that night was circumstantial. I understand that," he glanced in my direction and it took all the composure I had not to look away. "You were preoccupied." He turned back to the detective and said, "After all you've been through, Ryuuzaki, you _are_ human, and I can't blame you for that fault for it lies in us all." He smiled a bit and added, "Although I was worried about you for a while."

I couldn't help it as a low chuckle escaped my vocals, and Ryuuzaki growled. "Watari! Oh, you're just fine," and then he turned to me and switched back to Japanese, "He's fine."

"Ryuuzaki," we heard, and we both looked at him once more. Watari was a person whose words and presence commanded your attention. "Everyone makes mistakes because of their humanity. When I spoke to you not even I was aware of the danger I was in."

"I still feel guilty, Watari." _As do I_, I thought, sighing quietly. It had been me distracting him, after all.

"And you should." I froze, wanting to tell Watari that Ryuuzaki had already beat himself up about it enough. He took a sip of water after sitting up, "And you should learn from your mistakes. I never doubted for a second that you would get me out of there." He looked in my direction again briefly before his eyes met Ryuuzaki's once more. "I think you two serve to temper each other. But you should also be wary; you each have much to lose and little to gain by this. In the end you will need to prioritize."

Anger welled inside me. Again with the Kira accusations, subtle or otherwise; would they never end? At this rate, apparently not. "I…mean, well, thanks…but I don't know what you're talking about." It was Ryuuzaki who had spoken and I felt him grab my hand, knowing he knew perfectly well what Watari had meant. And even if I wasn't Kira, this was still a sticky situation. I let him pull me out of the room, taking his side anyway.

I debated talking about it with him, talking about what Watari had said, and I figured I would when we reached or room. But halfway there, in the middle of the staircase, he stopped and pushed me against the wall. And then his lips were pressed against mine in a mad rush, and we kissed passionately as his hands held my face and my own went to his waist. I was already hard and ready, but when his hand slid down and he groped me through my pants, all thoughts of serious conversation were gone. I licked his neck before biting, moaning against his flesh before pushing my lips against his once more, pulling him towards the floor. Suddenly buttons flew everywhere as he ripped open my shirt, and rushed to take off his own. He'd even managed to rip them off the chain, I'd noticed, slightly impressed. Thoughts of Kira were gone, but some form of sanity came back as he seemed stuck at my belt. The staircase was _not_ a good place for this. There were too many things that could go wrong in that situation. I didn't think he cared about the cameras, but I didn't want my father or someone else watching, and then there was the possibility of falling down the stairs. I didn't think we were coordinated enough for this.

I laughed and stood, pulling him up with me and grabbing our discarded shirts and leading him back to our bedroom. We made it into the living room of the suite and I pushed him onto the couch, not wanting to bother going all the way to the bedroom and I climbed on top of him, pinning him beneath me. He looked adorable the way his cheeks were flushed, the way his eyes sought mine…I couldn't wait much longer and it took all my remaining control not to treat the rest of our clothing as he'd treated our shirts. I prepped him thoroughly but quickly before sliding into him and he moaned a sound that went straight to my groin and my hips thrusted as an immediate reaction. And then I slipped out of him as we tumbled off the couch and I landed on my back, him landing on top of me. Thankfully he didn't land on anything vital and I maneuvered him so he was on top of me, straddling me, and he nodded, positioning himself so that I slid into him when he sat down.

They said the eyes were the key to the soul, and in Ryuuzaki's case this was definitely true as they widened and he gasped. I placed my hands on his hips, guiding him up and down until he got the hang of it. This was incredible as I lay there, him doing all the work for once and he rode up and down. I felt warm, like this was where I belonged…not just in him, but with him, and I brought my hand up to stroke him. "Light!" he screamed, and I moved my own hips in sync with his rhythm. "Mmmf…Light…" I didn't think I could speak, I couldn't think very well at all…speaking just seemed so far out of reach but I had to try.

"Ry…Ryu…zaki!" I felt accomplished for having gotten that much out. Four syllables were a lot of work when you felt like everything should just stop so you could experience bliss for forever. I flipped us over so I was on top, his legs spread wide for the best possible angle and I pounded into him. I'd lost all control, I was purely acting on instinct now as I slammed into him and I leaned forward, my nails raking down that soft, white flesh. I leaned forward even further and bit one of his nipples hard enough to leave a mark. I marked him, he was _mine_, and I just wanted everyone to know. I wanted to mark him in more visible places but didn't think he'd appreciate it, but I came as I marked him and felt his cock throb as warm liquid rushed out over my hand. I rolled off of him, the chain lying cold against both our chests, and he shivered and moved closer to me. Automatically I opened my arms and he nuzzled my neck before kissing my cheek and I cuddled him close.

I watched as his eyes closed and felt and heard his breathing even out as he drifted into unconsciousness. It took a while, but finally he was asleep and I was wide awake, which was a rather ironic turn of events. Usually he was awake long after I fell asleep. Like the night before I wanted to tell him, but I'd never tell him while he was awake. It would scare him off, most likely, and that was the last thing I wanted. So, telling him while he slept would have to be good enough and hopefully he'd get the message.

"I love you."

He jerked into a sitting position and scurried a few feet away from me, eyes wide and looking like a frightened animal. He brought his knees up to his chest in what was clearly a defensive position and I watched him warily. _Shitshitshitshitshit…I thought he was asleep,_ I thought, debating how best to calm him down. I couldn't (wouldn't) retract the statement. That would be not only disrespectful, but untrue as well. He was shaking visibly which only happened when he was feeling really distressed, and I'd never seen him shake this badly before. He looked down, away from me, and buried his face in his knees probably trying to think of a way to let me down gently and I had to try and fix this. I reached out and put a hand on his arm as I spoke, "Ryuuzaki, I…" but I didn't know what to say and didn't have time, anyway, as his arms encircled my neck and I felt wetness as well coming from his cheek. Ryuuzaki was _crying_.

"Light…" he whispered, lips moving slightly against my ear. "Why?" I didn't know how to answer him but again he didn't give me time, apparently the question having been rhetorical? His lips pressed against mine and his tongue slid into my mouth, and I wasted no time reciprocating. I breathed through my nose shallowly whenever I felt low on air so I wouldn't break the kiss, I didn't want him thinking it was some sort of rejection. He'd cried and I didn't know what that meant, if I pushed him away in the smallest way now I didn't want him to take it the wrong way. But even despite the crying and the shaking he'd kissed me…maybe because he pitied me? I was a fool for thinking this could work, and I'd known that from the start. If I could explain that I didn't expect anything from him it would be alright.

When he finally pulled away his forehead rested against mine and our eyes met and I realized I didn't need to explain – he already knew. He touched the tips of our noses together very lightly he whispered, "I love you, too."


	16. Tortured Moonlight::Chapter Sixteen

I know, this took a while...sorry. I got distracted writing Twist of Fate and responding to challenges...I was sort of avoiding writing this, and anyone who has read TM can probably understand why. -deep sigh-

* * *

I didn't say 'I love you' again, and neither did he, and that was probably for the better. We left it unspoken, not needing to hear it, anyway. As we pressed into October, I finally found a lead. Yotsuba had grown spectacularly since people had begun to die and Kira had come back. It was harder without police help, and Aizawa wound up leaving our small task force, leaving us a man down as the others were forced to quit their jobs to stay. I borrowed the name of L again to speak with one of the members who attended the secret meetings whom I didn't think was Kira. Ryuuzaki had agreed he probably wasn't Kira as well, and we'd ignored Matsuda's opinion, and we began to get a more firm lead on Higuchi.

I was stupefied as I learned Ryuzaki could fly a helicopter. I couldn't picture him driving a car, much less flying a helicopter, but when I asked all he'd said it was intuition…and that he'd read the manual. That had done nothing to boost my confidence that we would live through the ordeal, but chained to him as I was, there wasn't much I could do about it. The chase accumulated in our capture of Higuchi with, thankfully, Aizawa's help and first my father collapsed, then Mogi, both claiming to seem some sort of figure no on else could. Ryuuzaki had Mogi bring over the apparent killer notebook and nerves stirred in my stomach like butterflies disrupted from feeding. He held it first, looking surprised momentarily and I grabbed it from him, _needing_ to see for myself.

I couldn't help the scream that tore from my lips as pain made my body rigid, coursing through my veins like lightening as images appeared. Images of me killing for the first time, of when I'd first met Ryuuzaki and he'd told me who he was…why I'd hated him so much. It all came back and I felt tears at the corners of my eyes from how much pain I was in, but I turned away from my enemy, my lover, I didn't want him to see my face…he'd know right away. My chest hurt as I felt a sick pride at having realized my goals. My plan had worked; I just hadn't planned on falling for the enemy. It was so classic, so cliché, and so utterly and tragically true. We mentioned blandly the impossibility of testing it when I knew it worked, and I suggested comparing the names and gave me the go ahead. I pulled out my laptop and asked if I should check _all_ the names since the ones on the first page were all a match.

_I knew this would come in handy_ I thought, smirking. I didn't want to lose my memories, couldn't afford it, even if Higuchi were the last person I killed I didn't want to lose my memories again only to have them come back every time I touched the notebook. I pulled on the toggle for my watch four times and a compartment slid out, secreting away a part of the Death Note and I pulled out the needle in there, too. Pricking my wrist, blood flowed out easily and I wrote Higuchi's name with it and put everything neatly back in place, counting down the seconds. When Higuchi fell I could _feel_ the Death Note become mine, and it was a relief to own it once more. A few seconds passed as my father confirmed he was dead and then I felt Ryuuzaki kiss me on the cheek. I jumped out of surprise from the unexpected action, and because of guilt. _You just kissed a killer_, I wanted to tell him. _It was me…I killed Higuchi_. I didn't say it; instead I bit my tongue and forced a small smile as he maneuvered us back into the air.

My intelligence was my salvation as the thirteen day rule cleared me of suspicion and I was conflicted as the handcuff came off. Kira was pleased, and there was no one else that could have been Kira, especially for so long without being caught. But Light wanted to stay with Ryuuzaki; wanted to forget about Kira. I was Kira, and there was nothing that could change that it was me who had started it all. I left with the others that night, wanting freedom from that tower to do as I pleased and promising I would still spend most of my time at Headquarters. Also, we had rushed into things and being chained together and forced to live in small quarters may have clouded our judgement. We'd both been wanting, sexually, and definitely lusting after each other. Some time apart might be good and help us clear our heads.

When I headed home it felt strange not to have him around. _Damn_, I thought, pacing the small room. My father mentioned getting a place for Misa and I to live in and I knew he was trying to push that relationship further. Misa…I would need her to become Second Kira once more, but I would never _want_ her the same way I longed for Ryuuzaki. He was the yin to my yang; he fulfilled my every desire in a partner in physical _and_ mental ways. I realized with a jolt that, with him, I felt complete in a way I never had before. If I'd never found the Death Note I could have been with him. Ryuk's words floated through my mind and I finally understood them. _Those that use the Death Note find only misfortune."_ I let myself think about him, trying to ascertain my real feelings for him and my body certainly let me know it missed the sex and I heard my mom call me down for dinner.

The topics that circulated the table at dinner were mostly frivolous until the end when my mom asked about Ryuuzaki, claiming my father had told her I'd become good friends with him at school. I needed a few moments to find my composure while glaring at my father a tad resentfully. This would make things only slightly more difficult since obviously my mother knew nothing about the true nature of my relationship with the world's top three detectives. She asked me a few questions about him, genuinely curious, and mentioned that I shouldn't make plans for Halloween. I already had plans for that date and I told her as much and let her know it was Ryuuzaki's birthday, and then she suggested something that made my blood turn to ice. "Why don't we have him over for dinner?" I would have to go shopping for an appropriate gift, I realized, and I didn't think I could respectfully find a way to decline her offer. No, this would be good. He could come over and I could rub it in my father's face that Ryuuzaki was who I preferred, and if my mother caught on then that was just fine with me. At least I could have him come here once before I had to take his life. Sacrifices had to be made in order to create Utopia; sadly…Ryuuzaki was one of those sacrifices.

I headed back to my room so I could call him, taking out my cell phone and dialing the speed-dial that reached his. I had him on speed-dial…I didn't even have _Misa_ on speed-dial. "Light!" I heard, and his voice sounded almost…desperate. Well, he'd definitely missed me and I hadn't even been gone all that long. I chuckled, amused at our concurrent predicaments running on parallel lines – so similar yet so different from each others.

"Ryuuzaki," I said, keeping my voice even. If I wasn't careful it would shake and let him know I missed him just as much. "What are you doing on Halloween?" There was a pause as he registered what I'd asked and I explained, thinking he might have thought I'd forgotten his birthday. "I – well, you see, my dad told my mom about you, well, I don't think he had it in him to say the truth but she knows you're my friend, well," I hadn't stuttered so much in my life to get out a sentence. I had to get it over with, "She wants to throw you a small birthday celebration." Finally, it had been said, and I realized I was slightly relieved it was over with. Not completely, though, there was still the chance he'd say no…although I heavily doubted it. I put the icing on the cake, "Dinner will be at six…please come?" I wanted him to come in more ways than one, but I didn't want to drag out the conversation, I was already feeling weakened from the minimal contact we were having. His voice was like heroine to a drug addict recently declared sober.

"I will," said and I thanked him, hanging up quickly and burying my face in my pillow. I let out a frustrated scream which was muffled by my pillow. Only _he_ had the ability to un-nerve me, only _he_ had the unique talent to make me want to rip my hair out. Now there was another want included in that, and it was to go over there and fuck his brains out. I barely managed to resist the temptation, knowing I would see him the next day, and made sure to get up extra early so I could buy him a present on the way to Headquarters.

When Halloween finally arrived I was a nervous wreck, pacing back and forth in my room and glancing out of the window every thirty seconds as I wondered when he'd arrive. Looking at the clock I noticed it was almost six and I hoped he wouldn't be late. It wasn't enough, escaping the main office to feed our sex drive and I realized it was because I missed having his scent around me all the time. I missed his eyes, especially the furtive glances he cast my way to let me know when he wanted to have sex. The first night I'd been home and had to sleep alone it had been…terrible. I couldn't sleep, tossing and turning all night. Now that I was living with Misa, it wasn't much better. At least I could pretend as much as possible that it was _him_. She smelled differently and her intelligence wasn't near high enough to keep me sated, and I tried to spend as much time at Headquarters as possible…but I was always guarded around him now. It wasn't the same, and for both my sake and his…tonight had to be the last time for us. And it h ad to be wonderful, so as not to leave a bad ending; the story could never have a happy ending…the least I could do was make it tolerable.

Finally I saw the sleek limousine and made myself stand still for a bit before heading down the stairs, resisting the urge to take them two at a time. _Keep it together_, I chided myself, and smiled as I saw him in the doorway. He looked awkward as usual with his jeans and long-sleeved shirt, hair going every which way and dark circles under his eyes, but I loved him. There was no way to deny that as my heart picked up its speed as he spoke awkwardly with my mother. She let him in and we headed for the table in silence, and dinner passed rather smoothly. It was time t play my cards ad I put my hand on his thigh, saying I would give him the tour of the house. I heard Ryuuzaki sigh and looked towards his lap, the tell-tale bulge beginning and I suppressed a grin as I led him towards my room, which was really the only part of the house he'd be getting a real tour of.

I locked the door to my room, turning it with an audible _click_ and smiled, pushing him against the nearest wall and grabbing his crotch. Our lips met in a heated rush and _I had missed this_. Not feeling like we had to rush and get back to the investigation, really being able to take the time to savor everything. His smell, the supple skin, the heat in his eyes as we stumbled towards the bed, bumping into the desk on the way. Impatiently I swiped at it, clearing it of everything on it quickly and sat him on it, and his legs wrapped around my waist. _This is how it's meant to be…_ I met his eyes, feeling like Kira was far, far away and didn't exist…as if Kira didn't stand between us. But he did, and I was with Misa…"After tonight…it will be harder for us to be together." It hurt to say those words, but sacrifices had to be made; Utopia was worth it and I would become the God of that new world. As we'd been making out I had removed our clothing and he looked surprised as he realized we were both naked, and I just hoped we could be quiet enough that my parents wouldn't interrupt. I picked him up, forgetting Kira for tonight, and brought him over to my bed. _This_ was part of my present to him, I realized, and I began to prepare him slowly, reverently.

I lifted his legs so his calves were resting on my shoulders and plunged into him, feeling like I was finally where I belonged. Home wasn't with Misa, and it wasn't with my parents anymore, that was for certain. Home wasn't in the tower, either, it was _here_, with _him_. I didn't need a home, I would make a new one in which I would reign, but I would definitely miss it. No, I pushed Kira aside and made love to him, needing him, wanting him – being with him. I gave him myself and he gave himself to me in return, and I let him know I loved him even if I didn't say it. He screamed and I nearly came then, kissing him quickly so no one else would hear and his lips and teeth sent shock through me as he kissed, licked and bit my neck and ears. "RYUUZAKI!" I screamed, unable to help it and heard my own name yelled into the room and completely forgot about Kira, Hell…I completely forgot about everything except for the man I was in love with. I wasn't even sure I knew my own name at that point as I pumped into him a few more times and heard a knock at the door.

I heard Sayu's voice and groaned inwardly, "Light! Are you two alright?" I stood, grabbing the towel I'd purposefully left in the room this morning and cleaned off, "Light! This isn't funny!" and I tossed the towelto Ryuuzaki. Kira was coming back, reminding me not to linger even if I wanted to lose myself in him. If I did that, then all my plans would be lost, anyway.

"We're both fine," I said to quiet her and he and I exchanged a look, both of us laughing and I heard her stomp off. I walked him to the door and he called Watari so as to be picked up and I glanced behind, noticing my parents watching us through their bedroom window as we parted. I had a feeling Sayu was watching, as well, she was just being more discreet about it. "I'll see you at Headquarters tomorrow…Ryuuzaki, when this is over, I will make things work." _You will be dead, and my world will come into fruition,_ I thought, pulling something out of my pocket as I kissed him in full view of my family and neighbors. I slipped his birthday gift into his back pocket and whispered, "Happy birthday, L," and he froze, turning slowly to go to the waiting car. I'd gotten him a simple keychain with a small, cherry-sized silver apple charm on it. The back was flat and I'd gotten the words 'I love you' engraved upon it. It was a warning because I didn't have the heart to not give him a chance to figure things out and fight back. I meant the words. Besides…it wasn't worth it if there wasn't any challenge to it, right?


End file.
